Index -

NVC under constructin

Index -

9_skills_ike_video - a few of my notes about the video

Advanced NVC - Doc file

Many children who grow up in the worst environments, family-wise, community-wise, have succeeded; they are called resilient children because of the care and concern of someone. This person could be an aunt, scoutmaster, coach or a teacher. Many kids are saved by a teacher who believes in them. For many children, support must come from outside the dysfunctional family. The more we can strengthen the resistance of the child (the host), by developing high levels of self-confidence early, at home or at school, have the child feel loved and well perceived, and have people round them providing support, the stronger the child will be to resist adverse outcomes. Every child in a family is also unique and needs different ways of being nurtured.

--

in the first grade if you want to identify the high risk child who will be in trouble, you ask the other children. The other kids can pick out the endangered child. Then he worked out a system of getting volunteer people, mostly women, to tutor the child in the first grade. They came regularly and became a source of support and developed a relationship.

--

There are two explanations for mental and emotional problems. The one currently in favor by the mental health establishment is a disease model. It's all a medical illness; it's all brain disease.

Are you willing. what p said

Beyond_Good_and_Evil

When I worked with the Israeli police, for example, they would ask, “What do you do when someone is shooting at you already?” And I’d say, “Let’s look at the last five times somebody shot at you. In these five situations, when you arrived on the scene, was the other person already shooting?” No. Not in one of the five. In each case, there were at least three verbal interactions before any shooting started. The police recreated the dialogue for me, and I could have predicted there would be violence after the first couple of exchanges.

--

And in middle-class, educated culture in the United States, I think that disconnection is a way of life. When people have needs that they don’t know how to deal with directly, they approach them indirectly through these intellectual discussions. As a result, the conversation is lifeless.

--

I agree with theologian Martin Buber, who said that you cannot do psychotherapy as a psychotherapist. People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being, and I don’t think you can have an authentic connection when one person thinks of him- or herself as the therapist, diagnosing the other.

--

I started using the term “domination culture” after reading Walter Wink’s works, especially his book Engaging the Powers. His concept is that we are living under structures in which the few dominate the many. Look at how families are structured here in the United States — the parents claim always to know what’s right and set the rules for everybody else’s benefit. Look at our schools. Look at our workplaces. Look at our government, our religions. At all levels, you have authorities who impose their will on other people, claiming that it’s for everybody’s well-being. They use punishment and reward as the basic strategy for getting what they want. That’s what I mean by domination culture.

--

Our only option is communication of a radically different sort. We’re getting to the point now where no army is able to prevent terrorists from poisoning our streams or fouling the air. We are getting to a point where our best protection is to communicate with the people we’re most afraid of. Nothing else will work.