Morgan: Okay I've read the page.

p: hmm, my first reaction is that he sounds to me like maybe he's leaning too much towards the cognitive side... but ill read a bit more...

p: " It took me a while to notice that some of Marshall’s techniques for neutralizing judgment & criticism were feeding a personal pattern that I want to move past. (For instance, never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks of me.)"

p: that's exactly what we were talking about before

Morgan: yeah

p: on the transcript, marshal says "I try never to hear what another person thinks of me. I enjoy life a lot more when I spend as little time as possible hearing or thinking about what other people think about me. I go to the needs behind the thoughts. Then I’m in a different world. "

p: so im glad he's criticizing that

Morgan: [smile]

p: oh... "To relate to NVC, I’m now thinking of the practice as “fifth pair of ears”, besides the inner & outer jackal and giraffe ears. The new pair is an inner pair, and there’s a corresponding outer pair as well."

p: Conal seems to like this whole ear metaphor too

Morgan: Not this again!

 p: yeah :/

s: *reading 

Morgan: Okay what's with the ear metaphor?

p: yeah i dunno

Morgan: k

p: i guess he's still really into the whole "NVC-ese" as he seems to call it, I think...

Morgan: yeah

p: but i guess he's also criticising it too

p: in some parts

Morgan: hmm

p: so according to NVC, Marshall will never "hear" Conal's criticisms...

Morgan: yep 

p: k steve and i are talking about this idea of "faux feelings"

p: which apparently the NVC pple believe in...

Morgan: What does that even mean?

p: like apparently they dont belive some feelings are really feelings...

Morgan: ?

Morgan: [confused]

p: I think if u see the first result that comes up in google when u type in those words it gives a list of the feelings they think arent feelings

p: yeah...

p: its something like...

p: they dont think words that have something to do with having something done to you by another person are 'real'

Morgan: ?

p: like, feeling "rejected", "ignored", and "abused" would be faux feelings - fake feelings

p: steve says hes gonna send u the email from conal, where they talk a bit about that

Morgan: k

p: cos obviously that's one big difference between NVC and steve's ideas... since steve definitely things its useful to use those kinds of feeling words

Morgan: yeah

p: so I think the idea behind them not being "real" feelings is that, because they involve other pple, they are more like judgments or 'interpretations' of a situation than real feelings

Morgan: What the heck?

p: so like, supposedly... for example, if someone walks away from you, you might feel rejected or ignored...

p: but maybe they aren't "really" ignoring you, or rejecting you. According to NVC, maybe they are just busy or didn't see you, or something