Teen Suicide -
This page is especially for teens
I have helped a lot of suicidal teens over the past 15 years. I believe I understand why they often want to die to stop their pain.
I feel suicidal myself sometimes. At times I feel discouraged, alone, misunderstood, controlled, judged, rejected, abandoned, disapproved of, frustrated, hopeless, powerless. All of this hurts and sometimes I just want to stop the pain and can't think of any way to do it except suicide.
When I am depressed and need someone to talk to, I consistently find that it helps the most to talk to depressed teens. I feel understood by them and I don't feel judged. (Not often anyhow.)
I believe they also feel understood by me. At least they tell me they do. So I have been building these pages to help as many teens as possible.
Be sure to read this page on our chat group for teens who self-harm.
moved here --
Drugs do not fill a teen's unmet emotional needs. Drugs do not help a teen feel understood or cared about. Drugs do not take the place of hugs or respect.
Drugs do not make the parents better listeners.
I have talked to many teens who have been put on drugs. The consensus is that they do not help. (See box below for convo with Sarah)
Teens don't have "disorders" or emotional "diseases". If anything they only have what I call "EIPD" - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder
Here is a comment about another of Sarah's counselors:
Here are comments by Emily in the USA, Emily was 14 as of March 2004.
Emily also told me about an article in the NY Times, from which I got this quote:
Other EQI.org Topics:
|Why do idiots always tell suicidal
From Yahoo Answers
"Suicide is a permanent answer
to a temporary problem."
Here are the answers. I don't agree with the choice for the best answer, but then again only two people picked it!
I would also tell the person who asked the question that I'm sorry they didn't get any better answers, and I'm sorry that people have told them unhelpful things like that. I'd also say that it is step in the right direction to at least know that he or she isn't getting what they need. If you can identify what you need, you can at least start to look for it. Maybe it will take years, maybe you will never find it exactly, but along the way you can help others by documenting and writing about your "journey" as they say. I admire people who question things and don't accept these kind of cliche response like "Suicide is a ..." Good luck to whoever reads this. Please take care, and hang in there. I believe our society doesn't value people like you, but I do and I believe we need each person who has ever felt suicidal. If each sensitive person kills themselves, who will be there to support and understand the next sensitive child or teenager?
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
1. In my own life I remember telling more than one girlfriend that she should leave me and find someone better. In other words I felt unworthy of her love. Once I was afraid to leave a very unhealthy relationship because I didn't think I could ever find anyone better -- another sign of low self-worth. And I have certainly ongoing relationship problems. This is one reason I am so committed to helping adolescents -- I don't want them to have the emotional pain, the broken relationships and the divorces which I have had. -- S. Hein
Nicky Cruz Citation - Lonely but never alone, p. 31
sites to review- critique
I was born in Indiana, in the USA and have lived in Canada, Australia, South America and Europe. I've also visited Asia, South Africa,Morocco, Sri Lanka, New Zealand and a few other places. About 60 countries in all. I went to college, then worked for two years in a management training program in a dirty factory in a depressing city called Toledo, Ohio. Then I went to graduate school and got my MBA in one of the most materialistic places on earth. Texas. I lived in Austin for three years, then Dallas - which is even more materialistic. Austin used to be okay but it is getting worse fast. Everyone drives a Mercedes, BMW or Porsche it seems like now.
Anyhow, I got interested in helping suicidal teens when I first started chatting, back around 5 years ago. I met someone online who was cutting. She taught me a lot about cutting and why she and others did it.
From talking to a lot of teens when they are depressed and also when I am depressed, I have found that they are extremely caring and understanding people. So what I have learned about teen suicide is mostly from talking to teens online and in person. That is why chances are good that you will find the info on this site makes more sense than telling you that you have some "disorder" or "disease". I don't believe that. I think if you have a disorder it is what I call "EIPD" - or Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder!
I want to show people that suicidal teens are suicidal because of how they are treated at home and at school. (See this article by a university professor).
I want to help destroy the myth that it is a "chemical imbalance" and that teens have all these so called "disorders" like bi-polar and social anxiety. If they are afraid of people, it is because the people are frightening and controlling, not because there was something chemically or biologically wrong with them as children.
I think the best help is for you to all help each other. Unfortunately again, most adults just seem to make it worse.
If you like this site, and it is helpful and you feel a bit more understood, please let me know. And tell others because I want people to hear what I have to say about it.
Incest Victim Who Wasn't Believed
This letter is from an adult who was suicidal in her teens:
I was a victim of incest. I did not tell my mother, but a friend did, several years later. She did not believe me. In a way I didn't expect her to so that fact did not affect me much. She is not an honest person. That is why she was not able to see I was telling the truth.
I think that what hurt me the most what that I felt my mom didn't know who I was all those years. I sold her a pretend personality and she bought it. I could fake smile at her and she accepted it as real happiness.