We have to make killing and punishment unpopular. S. Hein

Most Recent Items

Dec 17 - Guidelines for helping depressed/suicidal teens. By Priscilla.

Dec 16 - Feeling vey depressed. Read about Zoe and Felicia - two more teen suicides

Dec 14 - 9:00 Last night/this morning learned about Justin Trudeau, Margaret Trudeau, Amanda Todd (Teen who killed herself) Trudeau said in one speech that we have to find the person who did it and pnunish them. lol. Wow It sounds so old fashioned now that I type it. So George Bush. But Obam said we are going to find bin Laden and kill him. And they did. So it reminds me that we have to make killing and punishment unpopular. Amanda Todd's mother said something like "We didn't take her seriously until she killed herself."

10:30 AM Feeling sad from story about Amanda Todd. Discouraged about Margaret Trudeau's comments about depression being an illness that can be treated with drugs. So I decided to try my HPET idea. Since I was feeling discouraged I decided to try to find something encouraging. So I searched "Depression is not an illnes" and I found one of the article which say this and put it on my new Depresion is not an illness page.

9:45 PM Facebook lies

Dec 12 - Wrote a lot this morning. Conclusion was that I need to be around people who want to learn from me and who don't get defensive.

P was one of the only people I can think of who fits that description.

But if someone wants to learn from me then they can't get defensive. Hard to find people like that.

Everything happens for a reason... a false aphorisim

Dec 9 - Trying new format for home page. More like blog or journal in this column. Yesterday was feeling really depressed. Then I met Jessica. We talked Ifor a few hours and she helped me with one of my projects. She said she wanted to work for me. I feel a bit skeptical, so we will see.

Dec 8 - Wrote last night about feeling outnumbered | Working on Feelings List page | Update to Mystery

Dec 7 - Feeling better. More optimistic. Appreciative of Hope, Tim, Grillo. Wrote about "Mystery" - who was helping me and feeling unalone.. Article about children not needing to meditate

Dec 6 I am feeling suicidal again... Abandoned. Uncared about. Unvalued. Unhelped. Alone.

Dec 1 Don't debate with a suicidal person

Nov 30 -

Positive thinking is not sustainable

To heal and prevent we need to understand cause and effect

If you really love your children you make it easy for them to leave - Includes a lot of personal writing

If you love something set it free

Kahil Gibran Quote - Your children are not your children

Nov 29 - B files list| Soldier Never Questions Who His Authority Is

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About this site

This site is a place where you can find useful, practical and important information about emotions and life. It contains information about emotional intelligence, some tools and resources, and some new ideas.

The EQI.org site acknowledges the pain and problems in the world, but offers young and old a new direction. It offers encouragement and emotional support. It let's those who feel pain and frustration know they are not alone and are not crazy. A special focus of this site is to provide emotional support to young people who are depressed and are thinking of ending their lives. We believe this site speaks with the most realistic authority on teen depression and suicide. Our expertise comes from countless hours of first-hand communication with young people from many countries around the world.

Our site is helping create a vision of a world which is more livable for children and sensitive people.

EQI.org is also for parents, teachers, educators, psychologists, therapists, attorneys, social workers and school counselors. It is for anyone who wants practical knowledge and resources to help others develop their emotional intelligence and emotional skills. The founder of the site, Steve Hein, was born and raised in the USA but has been traveling around the world since 1997. He and his partner now live in Uruguay.

Thank you for visiting.

Steve Hein





Nov 29 - I am back at my place in the country. Well it isnt really "mine" - I am renting it. First time I slept here since they told me I would have to move out about two months ago. Then they changed their mind.

Nov 24

Here is what I wrote on school survival


here is someting i wrote today after i talked to a girl who maybe be a mother in the near future.

she ashed what i would do if a child came to me in pain, for example after someone had yelled at my daughter, if i had one...

i said basically

1. ask how she is feeling
2. ask how much she is feeling it -- i use 0-10 -- accept/validate feelings, show empathy
3. ask what she needs and or what would help her feel better
4. ask what can i do to help or "what can we do"

hug to anyone who wants one

especially p if she ever reads this. she was in the hospital recently for apendicitis. she got into a very unhealthy relationship after she broke up with me. with a girl named angela. i am not sure which country they are in. i think the usa. she has been in a lot of pain. so hug to p. miss u. xx


Nov 23

Back in Uruguay

Email I got today from P.



I'm not in the hospital anymore but still feeling sick.

Thank u for ur mails. I'm hoping to b able to write more soon.



Nov 20 Am leaving Pucon today. Decided to put a few links to my site back.

Nov 19 - I am changing this page from an all black background to a lighter shade of black today. For several months I have been in mourning from the loss of my partner, Priscilla. Right now I am feeling less depressed than I have been. But I feel cautious because I know how quickly I can feel depressed and suicidal again. I am in Chile now. I came here a few days ago when I realized I needed a break. I am considering moving from Uruguay where I have been living the past 3 years with Priscilla. The other day I got this message from her.

>It Might be a while longer till I can reply more fully since I got appendicitus and will prob have surgery so I'll be in hospital for a few days, but hopefully I'll be able to write soon.

I am not sure what to say about that now. I guess I am preparing myself for the possibilitly she will die and I will never see her again. I am starting to feel accepting of that possibility. She chose to leave me and to stay in an unhealthy relationship. I believe she was manipulated and I believe the relationship was abusive, but in the end I guess it was her choice. I did all I could do to help her and get her out of it. Or maybe I didn't do all I could, had I been able to practice more of my own ideas. But I couldn't and I regret that now. Still maybe nothing I would have done might have prevented what ultimately was going to happen. I may never know why she made the choices she did. All I know for sure is how I felt and what I need. If I keep thinking about it I will get sadder and sadder so I might stop writing about it. Or I might continue. IDK.

Yes, I will stop. And instead write about someone else. A new teenager who wrote me a few days ago. She has helped me feel less alone, more understood, more valued, more cared about, more needed and more empathized with. She will probably disappear, maybe very soon, but for now it has been helpful to receive her mails and chat with her. So thank you to her.

Here in Chile a lot has been happening. I have been very depressed, but I have also been meeting a lot of people. It seems more interesting than Uruguay so far. The scenery in this tourist town, Pucon, is the kind found in post cards. But in the hostel there have been some people who I only want to get away from. So I have spent a lot of my time alone in my room, sleeping or trying to with all the noise. I have gone to a few schools and seen some things which caused me pain. I was starting to feel powerless and then I reminded myself of my own theory, for example the HPET theory and I got up and did some work on a web page where I wrote some things and did some searches. xx

So for now I guess I will start to put the home page back together again, though it pains me to do so... I don't think my life will ever return to the way it was before Priscilla left me She never knew how important she was to me. Some of that was my fault and some was the result of her low self-esteem. I really valued her and I grew to love her in a way I have never loved or cared about anyone else before. She was always afraid I would leave her so it is ironic to say the least that she is the one who ended up leaving me. I had been feeling more confident about our relationship when it ended so abruptly. I cried and cried and cried from the loss, pain, confusion, heartache.

Here in Chile I have shown some people the book of letters from the teenagers who cut. There has been a lot of interest in it so far, which has been encouraging. I have had several reminders that it is healthy for me to talk to people. Today I was talking to people nearly all day for example and I didn't feel depressed or suicidal. I feel more able to handle the noise and dysfunction of the hostel tonight. Maybe I will go back out again tonight. Things almost always seem to happen when I go out.

Today the hostel manager loaned me his bike and I rode with him and a guy from Spain to a nice spot at a river. Then we rode thru some trees and bright yellow flowers on a dirt path. I smile now to think about it. We talked about education, society, suicide etc. Things I like to talk about. I was thinking about leaving this hostel but ended up staying another night. Sometimes I really wonder if there is some kind of reason for the things which happen to me, like the new age people like to say. I wish I understood everything or that thngs somehow made sense or I knew what the reason was for the things that happen to me, including all the pain I have suffered. Pain that I would not want anyone to suffer. Not for any reason. I think we can learn things without so much pain. I think I have learned enough. I really don't think I need to learn anymore. I could easily spend the rest of my life just telling people what I have learned so far without ever learning something new. But it seems I can not stop learning new things, or can not stop suffering pain, heartbreak and disappointment. It seems I am not in control of my life. I used to think I was. I thought I could do pretty much whatever I want. So feeling so powerless is something relatively new for me. Things changed a lot, you might say completely when I started caring about people, especially about teenagers.