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I'm fine. It doesn't matter.

I got an email from a teen the other day. I hadn't heard from her in a few days so I wrote her and asked if she was ok. This is what she wrote back.

im fine
just been a little down and its not fair to burden u

The other night I chatted with someone I call Becka. Her msn name was something about suicide so I had asked her what was up. She said it was nothing. I kept asking her about it and finally she told me that she had just tried to kill herself by taking pills. But she kept saying it didn't matter and it was fine.

Last week I talked to a teen who also replied "it doesn't matter" when I asked why she were feeling down. She was abused by her brother when she was under ten, by the way.

The response of "It doesn't matter" is a common one I get from another teen who self-harms.

This is what emotionally abusive parents do to teens. They teach them that they don't matter. They teach them their feelings aren't important. They teach them not to even try to fill their own needs. They teach them that their lives are worth nothing. They teach that they are of no use to anyone and they are only a burden. Then teach them not to ask for help. They teach them to feel guilty for having needs.

All of this is perfectly legal.

Killing your teenager by convincing them that their life is not worth living is legal. Sometimes I believe teen suicide is better called teen murder.

S. Hein
July 24, 2007
Paysandu, Uruguay


Legal ways of hurting a child or teen

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