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This page is in its infancy, but I hope to create the world's longest, most comprehensive list of all the things parents can legally do to hurt, damage and psychologically destroy "their" children and teens.
The reason for this list is to raise awareness of the lack of legal protection given to children and teens.
We at EQI have worked with suicidal teens for over 15 years and we believe the laws must change in order to save lives.
Here is a partial list:
Ways to Punish A Teen - From a New Zealand Psychologist
See Searching Google
Other EQI.org Topics:
Intelligence | Empathy
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|note to sh - see kb5.txt for story about her father erasing her poems.|
This list was sent to me from a teen in the USA. August 2008
One thing I would add is that some parents don't just threaten to take away or kill a teenager's pet, they actually do it. I remember once Loo's mother gave away her dog without even telling her. Loo just came home and found out the dog was gone. When she asked where it was, the mother said she gave it to a friend from church.
|More labels parents call children
Antagonistic, Arrogant, Born loser, Bossy, Brat, Clumsy, Klutz, Crabby, Cranky, Crybaby, Defiant, Devil worshiper, Dodo, Drama Queen, Dramatic, Dunce, Egotistical, Finicky, Fool, Good-for-nothing, Greedy, Grouchy, Grumpy, Hellion, Holly Terror, Hot-tempered, Hothead, Idiot, Immature, Ingrate, Lame-brain, Lazy, Lazy-bones, Loser, Mean, Melodramatic, Moody, Monster, Moron, Nitwit, Obnoxious, Ornery, Pain, Pain-in-the neck, Pest, Picky, Pushy, Prude, Rebellious, Rude, Sassy, Sinner, Sissy, Scatter-brain, Self-centered, Selfish, Slob, Sloppy, Smart-aleck, Sore-loser, Spoiled , Stubborn, Too sensitive, Terror, "Too" anything, Troublemaker, Wallflower, Whiner, Worry-wart
This convo was with a 17 year old female in the USA in October of 2006
I just did a search for "Legal Ways of Hurting Children and Teens and found this first...
Then I tried this...
"Legal Ways of Hurting Children and Teens" using quotes... no results
Then I tried "Legal Ways of Hurting Children"
Then "Legal Ways of Hurting Teens" and "Legal Ways of Hurting Teenagers" No results.
Then I tried "Legal Ways of Hurting" and got only this. By the way if you read this next link think about the difference between rights and needs.
So what this tells me is that not many people are thinking about legal ways to hurt children and teens. I hope my site moves us forward on this.
away the Internet
Today I am talking to a 14 year old in England. Her Internet was taken away as a punishment. This is a new favorite punishment of controlling and sometimes vindictive, hurtful parents.
Here is part of our convo...
Now what can happen when the Internet is taken away as punishment?
For some suicidal teens it is their lifeline. They use it to get emotional support. For others it is a place for them to learn about many things that are not taught in school. It is obviously a tremendous learning resource, so when this is taken away the teens are denied an opportunity to educate themselves.
One day I would like to see a law which makes this kind of punishment illegal around the world. The Internet is uniting young people worldwide, it is educating and informing them, it is helping save lives. This kind of arbitrary punishment does nothing to develop a young person. It is simply a convenient way of hurting a teen and manipulating them into obedience by reminding them who's the boss.
Competent parents don't need to use inflict this kind of injury onto a young person. This kind of punishment is used by lazy, controlling parents. Instead of having rational discussions with teens, who are often much more level headed than the parent, as we see in the video of the verbally abusive mother, the parent simply throw their weight around by doing things like grounding the teen or banning them from the Internet. This is not responsible parenting,. It is not healthy parenting. I hope one day it will also not be acceptable parenting.
Here is a quote
|Make false assumptions about them
Case 1 - The Prom
Recently I got an email from a teen in the USA whose mother is trying to arrange a date for her daughter on a special high school dance called "the prom". The teen doesn't want to go with the person her mother is pressuring her to go with. She wants to go with someone she feels in love with. The mother though belittles this idea, saying that the teen just wants to go with a guy she can have sex with after the prom (which admittedly is quite customary nowadays in the USA.) But that isn't the reason this teen wants to go with someone she has romantic feelings for. The mother probably knows this but is trying to do whatever she can to get her daughter to go with the person her mother wants her to go with. So what is the mother's motive in meddling in her daughter's romantic life? The other guy is a son of a friend of the mother's. The mother probably wants to earn points with her friend. This or some similar motive is the driving force behind the mother's pressure. But whatever is motivating the mother, it obviously isn't her daughter's happiness.
If you live in the USA you know what this is, but if you don't you might not know what this means. It is basically big dance at the end of each school year, especially for teens in their last year of high school. I suppose the word "prom" comes from "promotion" which is something like graduation or finally getting out of what I call "P2", prison number 2 for many teenagers who are legally forced to go to schools against their wills. I never went to a "prom" and I am proud of that. Here is the way one teenager, described it:
From Nicole Norris page
Case 2 - My brother
When my oldest brother was in his forties he told me about how when he was a teenager he wanted a car. This didn't surprise me at all since my brother has always loved cars. What surprised me is what my mother told him and why she tried to talk him out of getting one. My mother made the wrong assumption about why he wanted the car. She told my brother he only wanted one so he could have sex in it. This hurt my brother's feelings and he has never forgotten this injury to his dignity.
|Send them anywhere, move them
Those who have legal power over teens can send them or move them pretty much anywhere they want to without the consent of the teens. They can even send them to the "boot camp" type places in other countries which Jordan Riak has reported on his site. (see below for link)
This ability to send them wherever they want to, whenever they want to is similar to how slave owners use to sell their slaves.
Here is a quote from the article...
See also Teen Prisoners
to read later...