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Emotionally Abusive Fathers
The EQI .org site has collected stories and information on emotionally abusive mothers for years. Mothers seem to be the most skilled at emotional abuse and seem to do the most damage by their words and actions. But fathers, of course, can also be emotionally abusive, so on this page we will be collecting and posting things about fathers.
Other EQI.org Topics:
|Father Shoots Teen Daughter's Laptp
with a Gun
Here is a link to a video of a father shooting and destroying his daughter's laptop.
This can be added to the list of things a parent can legally do to hurt a teen....
I feel too sad and discouraged by this video to say much more now, but I will say that my partner watched it about two months ago and it has been bothering her ever since. I didn't really want to watch it because I knew it would depress me, but today I did when we were talking about it.
My partner wanted to make a list of all the ways this person is emotionally abusive, but she has trouble with her hands now and can't type so for now I have just posted the video link here for her so our readers will be aware of it if they aren't already.
More thoughts... Feb 18, 2013
- It would be helpful to ask the daugher how much she felt understood by her father, from 0-10.
- And it would be helpful to ask the father how much he wants his daughter to feel understood by him.
It would also be helpful to...
- Ask the daughter how much she feels respected by her father, from 0-10, and why.
- Ask the father what shooting her laptop is teaching her about respecting another person.
It would be very interesting to ask people who are not from the USA what they think this video says about the American culture in particular, and about society in general. If you would like to comment, please write us.
dad chains son to tree as punishment for skipping school
Cambodian dad chains son to tree as punishment for
|It is all your fault. I'm very
disappointed in you.
This is from a teen's journal entry
|One lesson which could be learned from this is that her father is emotionally abusive and does not deserve to have legal power over her. He is destroying an intelligent, sensitive person of her self-confidence and self-esteem - a crime to humanity much worse than robbing a bank. It could be called soul murder. Yet few people in society will see it that way or help this teen in the way she most needs it.|
Seifert - Germany
Today I learned of this story of another emotionally abusive father: Helmut Seifert of Germany. It was reported that his 17 year old daughter was dating a man that the father believed was too old for her. He complained to the police but since the legal "age of consent" is 16 in Germany, the police told the father it was the daughter's legal right to date whoever she chose to.
This fact, however, did not matter to the father. Nor did his daugher's feelings matter. Seifert, with the help of two other men, located the daughter's boyfriend and castrated him with a knife.
One thing which bothers me about this story is that as far as I could tell the journalists who wrote the story did not interview the teen to find out how she felt. This seems to be farily typical around the world -- a teenager's feelings simply do not matter very much to parents, police, judges, journalists, school administers or society in general.
With a father who would do someting like that, it is no wonder to me that a teen girl would want to date an older man who offered her more emotional and physical security than her father. Would anyone be suprised if we were to learn that the father had systematically been verbally and emotionally abusive to his daughter, if not physically abusive?
Surely there were signs of such abuse long before the father finally brought attention to himself. Where were the girl's teachers, for example? Where was her school psychologist?
A person who is capable of such blatant disregard and disrespect for his own daughter's feelings and choices did not earn and did not deserve the legal right to the claim of "father." Had his legal rights as father been taken from him, or had he received counseling, this extreme act of violence could have been prevented. And a relationship between a father and daughter might have been saved.
Could anyone blame the daughter if she never spoke to the man called her father again?
|Useless, Waste of Space - Letter about emotionally abusive
This is a letter we received from a girl in the UK
- "It is all your fault. I'm very disappointed in you."