Judging

EQI.org Home \| Personal Growth \| -unf Judging Feeling Judgmental Feeling Judged Non Judging Preacher Judging and Understanding Trying To Avoid Feeling Judgmental (When I was trying to work with Hillary Adams on the idea of a foundation) "Judging" on EQI.org	EQI.org Home Page Core Components of EQI.org Other EQI.org Topics: Emotional Intelligence \| Empathy Emotional Abuse \| Understanding Emotional Literacy \| Feeling Words Respect \| Parenting \| Caring Listening \| Invalidation \| Hugs Depression \|Education Personal Growth Search EQI.org \| Support EQI.org EQI.org Library and Bookstore
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Feeling Judgmental One of the most helpful things I can suggest to people is to learn to be aware of when you are feeling judgmental. When you realize you are, don't say anything until you can figure out what to say that isn't judging. It would probably help to admit to the person that you are feeling judgmental. if you have that kind of emotionally honest relationship.
Judger-Learner Questions Judger What’s wrong? Who’s to blame? How can I prove I’m right? How can I protect my turf? How can I be in control? How could I lose? How could I get hurt? Why is that other person so clueless and frustrating? Why bother? Learner What works? What am I responsible for? What are the facts? What’s the big picture? What are my choices? What’s useful about this? What can I learn? What is the other person feeling, needing, wanting? What’s possible? Switching Questions These are examples of some useful questions for when you find yourself veering into Judger mode and want to “merge” back into Learner. • Am I in Judger mode right now? • Where would I rather be? • How can I get there? • What are the facts? • How else can I think about this? • What assumptions am I making Is this what I want to feel? Thanks to Brent Scott for sending this