How to help a depressed teenager

How to Help a Depressed Teenager

On varioius parts of this site there are suggestions for how to help a depressed teenager, or anyone who is depressed.

This page is a new page to try to collect all the suggestions in one place.

Help them Identify Feelings and their Causes

How to help someone who is depressed

Help them Identify Feeling and their Causes

Here is an example of using the list with a teenager. On this particular day a teen from the USA said she was feeling an urge to cut. To help her make it through the moment without cutting, her friend asked her to look at this list of common negative feelings to see which ones applied to her. Here are her responses::

ashamed,cut own, embarrased, respected, labeled, powerless, alone, brushed off, lonely, misunderstood, unknown, invisable,accused, misled, disapproved of, over-protected, terrified, insecured, scared, suspicious

Here is a copy of the dialogue:

Friend: Wow. That is a lot.

Hurting teen: Yeah

Friend: Can you try to explain each one a little bit? Or some of them, the main ones maybe?

Hurting Teen: Ask me one

Friend: Ok, lets start at the beginning... ashamed, then cut down.

Hurting teen: Ok...I feel ashamed by being bisexual and cutting. And I feel cut down because people say things to make me feel like I'm not worth anything.

Friend: Like who says things that hurt you and make you feel worthless?

Hurting Teen: My dad's friends and this guy I have known a long time.

Friend: Like what do they say exactly?

Hurting Teen: They say I am such a bad person that I can't possibly really be my father's daughter.

Friend: What do they say is so bad about you?

Hurting Teen: Well, like that I am a cutter, and a smoker and I am bi

Example Two

What do you feel suspicious about?

- that no one likes me,or loves me

I showed it once to a 14 year old in England who was being seen by social workers because her father had been sexually

harassing her and I asked her to tell me which ones she feels at home. Here is that part of our chat:

steve says:
look at the list and tell me which u feel at home, and if u want, add who u feel that way with
anna says:
ok
Stereotyped-my mum, and dad,offended-my parents and brother and social workkers and police ,
steve says:
k how do u feel sterotyped by ur mom
anna says:
shes like oh teengers ur age.....

anna says:
i just wana shout im not a teenager but im anna im not like everyone else. everones different
steve says:
yeah
steve says:
ur not like everyone else anna
steve says:
i can see that
anna says:
lectured my family
steve says:
anna says:
Over-controlled
Over-ruled
Powerless
Pressured
Restricted
Trapped-parents
anna says:
Bossed around
Controlled
Imprisoned - parents
anna says:
Alone, Ignored, Insignificant
Invisible Lonely
Misunderstood
anna says:
u ok uve gone quiet?
steve says:
sorry
steve says:
i am doing three things at once
anna says:
ok...
Unheard
Unimportant
Unwanted
these words r really good they describe how i feel
steve says:
thanks
anna says:
Falsely accused
Guilt-tripped
Interrogated
Judged
Lied about
anna says:
Punished
steve says:
steve says:
who punishes u
anna says:
parents
anna says:
Abused
Afraid
anna says:
Frightened
Intimidated
anna says:
Scared

If I would have had time I would have asked her to explain each one. At 14 Anna was very good at explaining her feelings and the reason for them. We often talked about feelings. Now she is nearly 16 and we have almost stopped talking. She doesn't seem to want to talk about her feelings anymore. It is harder to get her to share them. She still will if I coax her. But as soon as let the conversation drop, she also lets it drop. When she was younger she would always have kept it going.