Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com
How to Help a Suicidal Teen
First and most important, if at all possible, and they agree, get them away from their parents. Find them an emotionally safe place to live, eat and sleep. (note) Also, Dont make threats. -- Don't betray their trust. -- Dont give ultimatums. For example. either u tell ur parents or i will. -- Don't betray their trust. -- Ask them how much they feel understood by u from zero to ten. -- Don't betray their trust. -- Believe in them. -- Don't betray their trust. -- Don't try to control them. -- Don't betray their trust. -- Show you care without trying to control them. -- Don't betray their trust. -- Don't threaten them. -- Be patient with them. -- Don't betray their trust. -- Don't punish them, or threaten to. -- Don't interrupt them. -- Don't abandon them.
Do not betray their trust. |
When asked to look at this, one teen who tried to kill herself said, "I agree 1,000 %"
Another said, "I completely agree. That is the list I go by when I help someone else who is suicidal."
Other ways to help
- Provide information about emotional abuse and invalidation
- Provide the teen with a support network of other teens who will understand their situation. Even one understanding friend can save the live of a depressed young person, or a person of any age for that matter, but especially a young person whose friendships and relationships are so important.
Note:
This may seem like a very strong statement, but it is based on 8 years of direct work with suicidal and self-harming teens. In our experience, there has never been even one case where a teen who was suicidal lived in an emotionally safe home. If it were an emotionally safe and supportive home, they would not be suicidal. This may sound simplistic, but we believe this is a true statement. It is like saying if someone is physically starving, it is clear they have not gotten enough to eat. So the first priority is to provide them with food. But in this case it is emotional support and safety. Again, this is based on 8 years of helping suicidal teenagers.
Once the teen gets away from the parents, they can start to see that what happened to them was not healthy. It might have been "normal", but it was not normal in healthy homes.
If the parents are willing and cooperative, provide them with emotional skills training. Whether the teen is returned needs to depend on the parent's willingness to change, not the teens ability to adapt, change or cope.