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With Mainstream Definition of Emotional Intelligence Throughout my writing on EI I offer critical thinking about the mainstream views on the topic. Here are a few of the main critical thinking articles. - S. Hein April 2012 Note - Here is a book I had not known about before
Emotional Intelligence and Fool´s Gold Emotionally Intelligent Soldier Insecurity and Emotional Intelligence Calling Normal and Conformity "Intelligence" Emotional Intelligence and Conformity Motivation, Defining EI, Gods, and Education Highly Motivated People - Messy Desk, Good Listener Etc What group is deciding what is EI? Re-defining What it Means to be Smart Problems Related to Self-Harm, Depression, Suicide
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| What group is deciding what is EI? -- what if soldiers defined it? would they include empathy? -- what if university professors defined it? would they include skills and abilities needed to succeed in a university? - what if businessmen defined it? Or professors who get lot of their income from consulting to businesses? - Or what if psychologists who get a lot of income from business consulting define it? |
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| It takes emotionally intelligent
people to design test On the MSCEIT there are only 4 possible answers. How do we know best answer is included? Or test designers know best answer? How do we know that the people who designed the test are exceptionally high in EI? Maybe they are just good at making tests which measure emotion-related things businesses are interested in tracking. |
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| Leadership Mainstream say things like "uses emotions to achieve goals" vs uses ei to set goals win war vs prevent war ie what if goals are not healthy for society? but you use ur ei to achieve them anyhow? |
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| Writing from
2006 by S.Hein It has been more than 10 years since
the term “emotional intelligence” was
introduced to the media and general public, yet there may
be more confusion about what EI actually is and
isn’t now than there was 10 years ago. |
Unfinished notes below.....
What time in history? Sacrifice? Get Bible quote?
- Belgrade psychology graduate who said hitting kids okay. What if he and his friends who believe it is ok to hit kids were defining emotional intelligence? Or training future psychologists and counselors?
Does research attract emotionally intelligent people?
Do universities attract ei people?
Common tests miss emotional genius
Why EI is important
What if wars caused by the unmet emotional needs of the leaders?
What if wars were caused by emotional conflicts?
What if wars were really just emotional problems which needed to be solved?
The story of the Trojan Horse
A need for vengeance.
Post later ---
Last night I saw two university graduates debating with each other. I have seen this many times. Both of them have spent many years in school, yet have never learned how to listen to another person in a way that helps that person feel understood. They have been friends since they were young. They stayed in my hostel as part of their trip to Albania and the Balkans together. I feel sad when I think that they could be spending all this time together but not really feelng more connected on a deep emotional level.
Today I will offer them this suggestion: Ask the other how much they feel understood from zero to ten.
Would you like a 30 minute course on emotional intelligence?
5 minutes on EI
Emotional intelligence means the ability to solve emotional problems. To solve emotional problems you must understand the emotional data. To understand the emotional data you must first be able to identfy it. This means knowing the names of specific feelings and knowing that negative feelings represent unmet emotional needs.
must be a good listener. To be a good listener you must know how to help someone feel understood. To help someone feel understood, it helps to ask them how understood they feel.
To have a good relationship you must be able to give someone emotional support and help them fill their emotional needs
A simple definition of friends and enemies is that your friends want to help you. Your enemies want to hurt you. So to be a friend, you need to always help, not hurt. Sometimes, even with a friend, you will feel hurt. One instinctive response to feeling hurt by someone is to hurt them in return. But this is primitive and not helpful to your friendship. So try to be aware of how you are feeling when you feel hurt. Ask yourself if you are feeling hurtful in return. If you are, chose your words or actions very carefully so as not to
Problems with the mainstream definition of Emotional Intelligence
What group is deciding what is EI -
-- what if soldiers defined it? would they include empathy?
-- what if university professors defined it? would they include skills and abilities needed to succeed in a university?
What time in history? Sacrifice? Get Bible quote?
- Belgrade psychology graduate - hitting kids okay
Does research attract emotionally intelligent people?
Do universities attract ei people?
Takes emotionally intelligent people to design test
Only 4 possible answers. How do we know best answer is included? Or test designers know best answer?
Common tests miss emotional genius
Why EI is important
What if wars caused by the unmet emotional needs of the leaders?
What if wars were caused by emotional conflicts?
What if wars were really just emotional problems which needed to be solved?
The story of the Trojan Horse
A need for vengeance.
Post later ---
Last night I saw two university graduates debating with each other. I have seen this many times. Both of them have spent many years in school, yet have never learned how to listen to another person in a way that helps that person feel understood. They have been friends since they were young. They stayed in my hostel as part of their trip to Albania and the Balkans together. I feel sad when I think that they could be spending all this time together but not really feelng more connected on a deep emotional level.
Today I will offer them this suggestion: Ask the other how much they feel understood from zero to ten.
Would you like a 30 minute course on emotional intelligence?
5 minutes on EI
Emotional intelligence means the ability to solve emotional problems. To solve emotional problems you must understand the emotional data. To understand the emotional data you must first be able to identfy it. This means knowing the names of specific feelings and knowing that negative feelings represent unmet emotional needs.
must be a good listener. To be a good listener you must know how to help someone feel understood. To help someone feel understood, it helps to ask them how understood they feel.
To have a good relationship you must be able to give someone emotional support and help them fill their emotional needs
A simple definition of friends and enemies is that your friends want to help you. Your enemies want to hurt you. So to be a friend, you need to always help, not hurt. Sometimes, even with a friend, you will feel hurt. One instinctive response to feeling hurt by someone is to hurt them in return. But this is primitive and not helpful to your friendship. So try to be aware of how you are feeling when you feel hurt. Ask yourself if you are feeling hurtful in return. If you are, chose your words or actions very carefully so as not to