|EQI.org Home | Main Page on Emotionally Abusive
14 Year Old
Girls Describing Their Abusive Mothers
These writings show
how insightful and aware 14 year olds can be about their
emotionally abusive mothers. Some people may feel very
uncomfortable reading these, either because they don't
want to believe such things are true, or because they
know that they are. They may also remind some of their
own mothers. They are written with very strong language -
language with shows both the high emotional intelligence
of the writers and the degree to which they have already
learned to turn a hurtful phrase.
Steve - Get examples from this page http://eqi.org/dsfs2.htm)
Here is an entry from the diary of CC, in the USA when she was 14.
June 05, 2007
i hate you. i used to love
you so much, but that was just because i didnt
ask questions. i thought because you were my mom,
i was required to love you, and because you were
a mom, you were an amazing person. yeah, i was
fucking wrong. ive stopped sucking up to you. and
i started realizing how bad of a person you are,
and how much you fucked me up. so just because a
little kid used to want to hold your hand, it
doesnt mean that that kid is now a bitch and your
an amazing person. its little kids. get over it.
let me start off by saying that you dont fucking
think youve done anything wrong. ever. just like
dad you cant accept the fact that you made a
mistake. or a thousand. it pisses me off so bad.
i have told you so many times, when im calm, when
im crying, when im screaming, the reasons why i
do the things i do, and what youve done wrong.
and you never believe it. ever. you never say why
you dont agree with it, unless you have some
weird theory that dad shoved down your throat,
you just say its not true and repeat what you
said the first time. i dont get why you ever ask
me why im mean to you. do you honestly think ill
say because im a bitch and your a god??
you think because your the mother (say in weird
voice, exaggerate the moth), you are amazing, and
no matter what you do we have to respect you.
after you totally bitch at us for no reason,
after you complain about your millionth job,
after anything you say (or do that COULD express
an emotion) unless we run up to you, hug you, and
call you mommy and say we love you no matter what
and all that bullshit, then were total bitches.
its absured. your allowed to yell and scream and
call us names all you want, but were not allowed
to say anything slightly offensive to you. you
cant yell at us then yell at us for getting upset
your such a two year old. in every argument, even
if we just say we disagree with something you
said, you scream and yell at the top of your
lungs. you slam stuff around, you jump up and
down. you fucking mock us in a weird voice, you
interupt after every word we say with NO!!, and
you run upstairs and slam and open your door
about 5 times. its stupid. that is even stupid
past the age of 7. your a grown adult, you
shouldnt be having temper tantrums. and you have
them everyday!! over dumbass things like we gave
you a weird look or something. then WE have to
calm you down. every single fight we have to go
in your room, put on a fake sad face, and tell
you we love you and your an amazing mom and we
were just having a bad day and shit. even though
in every single argument weve ever had you were
the wrong one and should have been apologising.
we have to do it cuz your a god damn child and
will stay mad forever and ever until we
you never listen. every argument, whenever you
ask a question, you never listen to what we have
to say. its really stupid to ask a question in
the first place if your not going to listen to
the answer but whatever. anyways, all you ever do
is interuppt with no i dont before we have the
time to explain why. we have to say in a voice
like a parent says to a crying baby, let me
explain. let me talk for a minute. then as soon
as we say something, you yell out thats not true
and start insulting us. every. argument. which
happens every night. so ive stopped fighting with
you. every time you ask me the question, why are
you so mean to me? (which you do a fucking ton) i
have to repeat a million times i dont want to
talk about it, because all youll do is say im
wrong and im mean and do this and that. calm the
fuck down and have an adult argument for once.
your a god damn attention whore. you say shit to
us that you do not fucking tell your kids.
especially sensitive, depressed kids like us. you
tell us you tried to kill yourself when you were
younger. you used to cut. all that jazz. which, i
mean its still pretty messed up but i guess its
okay when its out of the blue. but you do it when
WE need help. whenever we're upset, you start
pulling up your sleeves to show us the scars, yet
again. when i used to trust you and thought i
loved you and i went to you with stuff, everytime
i went to you for help, i winded up comforting
you. i had to wipe away your tears and answer
questions like, why is it like this? why is it
only me? how the fuck could you put that on your
kids? you knew we were already depressed and
needed to please people. and when were most
vonerable you make us your counselor? find a real
counselor, dont put that on your kids.
you cant make a decision for yourself. everything
youve ever done is because someone told you to do
it. the only ones you do make are stupid ones
that you do just because your too weak. which i
mean, hey, good for you. but when your trying to
raise kids?? we used to look up to you. i did
until about 4 months ago. and all we saw was
weakness. we learned that adult life sucked,
because you quit jobs left and right because you
didnt absolutely love them. hell, you divorced
your husband because your kids told you itd be
you dont know how to be a parent. all our lives
youve let us do whatever the fuck we want,
pressured us to help you, and showed us bad
morals. now youve turned around and are a total
bitch all the time, because you think you need to
be more aggressive and control us more. well
guess what? im posting this shit everyday,
talking in suicide groups, cutting myself,
downing pills and other meds, and reading sex
stories. all your fucking doing to "control
us" is yell at us for little things that
dont even matter.
fuck you. fuck you. fuck you.
why is it that you pick up on
everything i supposedly do wrong?
whenever X or Y do something that is wrong in
eyes you don't notice. you said so yourself when
i asked why you
never notice when they hold thier cutlery wrong.
you said you try
not to notice every thing that they do wrong. but
i know you think
manners are very important. so why is it that you
seem to actually
be looking for things to criticise me about or
shout at me for?
i always feel like i've done something wrong. i'm
just trying to be
you are a bitch to me most
of the time, you know that? you
always scream at me and tell me you're trying to
change me "for the
better". well let me tell you something. i
don't want to change.
when i bring up the subject
of when i go to bed and basically me
wanting to make desicions for myself you turn
nasty. do you want me
to feel trapped? probably. you always say thay
when i start acting mature
you will treat me mature. yeah, whatever. that
day will never come.
you make me feel so depressed all the time,
sussana. you're not mum to me
anymore. you make my life misery.
you tell people we have an
"open relationship", that i can talk to
you about anything and do talk to you. er, no. i
and we do not have an open fucking relationship
the fact is i never know
how you are going to react when i ask you
about anything. you think you are a good mum
because you give me
money each month and let me on the computer and
shit. that's not
being a good mum. and why is it that you always
go running to
your new husband? like you can't deal with it on
your own. it being me.
and my opinions etc. you gang up on me. but you
are the leader, the
bully. i can't wait to leave and get out. don't
expect me to come back
My Mother Has Said
(From Steff (aka Liz) at age 14)
I really don't care about what
I will bring you up how i want
to and there's nothing you can do about it
I dont want to hear your
opinion unless you're asked
You make me feel really hurt
Youre so selfish
All you care about is what
people think of you
Youre supposed to be the
clever one, why cant you work it out?
Youre a minor, I can stop
Theres nothing you can do
You need to go to the doctors
because your behaviour isnt normal
What did I do to deserve you?
Being with your father does
nothing for your looks. You look much better now
youre back with me.
I think all perverts should be
Anyone that cuts themselves
should be locked up in a mental institution.
Piss off and never come back
[insert object/feeling here]
You think you know everything
I think you should be a model.
Youre very photogenic. Ive got some
lovely photos of you.
-She said this soon after I came back to her.
Im sure shes trying to keep me. She also
bought me a skirt and some shoes.
Steff added this note.."Of
course, thats not all."
Intelligence | Empathy
Emotional Abuse | Understanding
Literacy | Feeling Words
Respect | Parenting | Caring
Listening | Invalidation | Hugs
Search EQI.org | Support
Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from