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14 Year Old Girls Describing Their Abusive Mothers


These writings show how insightful and aware 14 year olds can be about their emotionally abusive mothers. Some people may feel very uncomfortable reading these, either because they don't want to believe such things are true, or because they know that they are. They may also remind some of their own mothers. They are written with very strong language - language with shows both the high emotional intelligence of the writers and the degree to which they have already learned to turn a hurtful phrase.

CC's Mother

Steff's Mother

(Note to Steve - Get examples from this page http://eqi.org/dsfs2.htm)

CC's Mother

Here is an entry from the diary of CC, in the USA when she was 14.

dear selfish bitchy mom,   Tuesday, June 05, 2007

i hate you. i used to love you so much, but that was just because i didnt ask questions. i thought because you were my mom, i was required to love you, and because you were a mom, you were an amazing person. yeah, i was fucking wrong. ive stopped sucking up to you. and i started realizing how bad of a person you are, and how much you fucked me up. so just because a little kid used to want to hold your hand, it doesnt mean that that kid is now a bitch and your an amazing person. its little kids. get over it.

let me start off by saying that you dont fucking think youve done anything wrong. ever. just like dad you cant accept the fact that you made a mistake. or a thousand. it pisses me off so bad. i have told you so many times, when im calm, when im crying, when im screaming, the reasons why i do the things i do, and what youve done wrong. and you never believe it. ever. you never say why you dont agree with it, unless you have some weird theory that dad shoved down your throat, you just say its not true and repeat what you said the first time. i dont get why you ever ask me why im mean to you. do you honestly think ill say because im a bitch and your a god??

you think because your the mother (say in weird voice, exaggerate the moth), you are amazing, and no matter what you do we have to respect you. after you totally bitch at us for no reason, after you complain about your millionth job, after anything you say (or do that COULD express an emotion) unless we run up to you, hug you, and call you mommy and say we love you no matter what and all that bullshit, then were total bitches. its absured. your allowed to yell and scream and call us names all you want, but were not allowed to say anything slightly offensive to you. you cant yell at us then yell at us for getting upset over it.

your such a two year old. in every argument, even if we just say we disagree with something you said, you scream and yell at the top of your lungs. you slam stuff around, you jump up and down. you fucking mock us in a weird voice, you interupt after every word we say with NO!!, and you run upstairs and slam and open your door about 5 times. its stupid. that is even stupid past the age of 7. your a grown adult, you shouldnt be having temper tantrums. and you have them everyday!! over dumbass things like we gave you a weird look or something. then WE have to calm you down. every single fight we have to go in your room, put on a fake sad face, and tell you we love you and your an amazing mom and we were just having a bad day and shit. even though in every single argument weve ever had you were the wrong one and should have been apologising. we have to do it cuz your a god damn child and will stay mad forever and ever until we apologise.

you never listen. every argument, whenever you ask a question, you never listen to what we have to say. its really stupid to ask a question in the first place if your not going to listen to the answer but whatever. anyways, all you ever do is interuppt with no i dont before we have the time to explain why. we have to say in a voice like a parent says to a crying baby, let me explain. let me talk for a minute. then as soon as we say something, you yell out thats not true and start insulting us. every. argument. which happens every night. so ive stopped fighting with you. every time you ask me the question, why are you so mean to me? (which you do a fucking ton) i have to repeat a million times i dont want to talk about it, because all youll do is say im wrong and im mean and do this and that. calm the fuck down and have an adult argument for once.

your a god damn attention whore. you say shit to us that you do not fucking tell your kids. especially sensitive, depressed kids like us. you tell us you tried to kill yourself when you were younger. you used to cut. all that jazz. which, i mean its still pretty messed up but i guess its okay when its out of the blue. but you do it when WE need help. whenever we're upset, you start pulling up your sleeves to show us the scars, yet again. when i used to trust you and thought i loved you and i went to you with stuff, everytime i went to you for help, i winded up comforting you. i had to wipe away your tears and answer questions like, why is it like this? why is it only me? how the fuck could you put that on your kids? you knew we were already depressed and needed to please people. and when were most vonerable you make us your counselor? find a real counselor, dont put that on your kids.

you cant make a decision for yourself. everything youve ever done is because someone told you to do it. the only ones you do make are stupid ones that you do just because your too weak. which i mean, hey, good for you. but when your trying to raise kids?? we used to look up to you. i did until about 4 months ago. and all we saw was weakness. we learned that adult life sucked, because you quit jobs left and right because you didnt absolutely love them. hell, you divorced your husband because your kids told you itd be better.

you dont know how to be a parent. all our lives youve let us do whatever the fuck we want, pressured us to help you, and showed us bad morals. now youve turned around and are a total bitch all the time, because you think you need to be more aggressive and control us more. well guess what? im posting this shit everyday, talking in suicide groups, cutting myself, downing pills and other meds, and reading sex stories. all your fucking doing to "control us" is yell at us for little things that dont even matter.

fuck you. fuck you. fuck you.


Steff's Mother


why is it that you pick up on everything i supposedly do wrong?
whenever X or Y do something that is wrong in your
eyes you don't notice. you said so yourself when i asked why you
never notice when they hold thier cutlery wrong. you said you try
not to notice every thing that they do wrong. but i know you think
manners are very important. so why is it that you seem to actually
be looking for things to criticise me about or shout at me for?
i always feel like i've done something wrong. i'm just trying to be

you are a bitch to me most of the time, you know that? you
always scream at me and tell me you're trying to change me "for the
better". well let me tell you something. i don't want to change.

when i bring up the subject of when i go to bed and basically me
wanting to make desicions for myself you turn nasty. do you want me
to feel trapped? probably. you always say thay when i start acting mature
you will treat me mature. yeah, whatever. that day will never come.
you make me feel so depressed all the time, sussana. you're not mum to me
anymore. you make my life misery.

you tell people we have an "open relationship", that i can talk to
you about anything and do talk to you. er, no. i never have.
and we do not have an open fucking relationship

the fact is i never know how you are going to react when i ask you
about anything. you think you are a good mum because you give me
money each month and let me on the computer and shit. that's not
being a good mum. and why is it that you always go running to
your new husband? like you can't deal with it on your own. it being me.
and my opinions etc. you gang up on me. but you are the leader, the
bully. i can't wait to leave and get out. don't expect me to come back

Things My Mother Has Said

(From Steff (aka Liz) at age 14)


I really don't care about what you think

I will bring you up how i want to and there's nothing you can do about it

I don’t want to hear your opinion unless you're asked

You make me feel really hurt

You’re so selfish

All you care about is what people think of you

You’re supposed to be the clever one, why can’t you work it out?

I’m everything, you’re nothing

You’re a minor, I can stop you

There’s nothing you can do about it!

You need to go to the doctors because your behaviour isn’t normal

What did I do to deserve you?

Being with your father does nothing for your looks. You look much better now you’re back with me.

I think all perverts should be shot.

Anyone that cuts themselves should be locked up in a mental institution.

Piss off and never come back

You don’t deserve…[insert object/feeling here]

You think you know everything

I think you should be a model. You’re very photogenic. I’ve got some lovely photos of you.
-She said this soon after I came back to her. I’m sure she’s trying to keep me. She also bought me a skirt and some shoes.

Steff added this note.."Of course, that’s not all."

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