Steve Hein's EQI.org
Here is a more complete list of topics
|Nov 29 - I have started
working with Melina in Argentina. I am trying to help her
become financially independent. She wants to be a
translator. I am trying to save her from what I call the
black hole - more
|Nov 28 update - Now it is about noon. I wanted to post a letter I got from Tim. Tim is around 21 now - He found EQI at age 16. It is on his page as Nov 28 2015 mail|
|Nov 28 - I spent most of
the day yesterday with children and a few adults who are
trying to educate them in an alternative way. I am
staying in the home of the people who started this school
http://www.educacionviva.com.uy/ - I would like to teach the adults and children
my Paulish and my ideas about education and parenting. I am also
thinking it would be nice to have an EQI University since
so many people believe in the university system (more
than believe in Heaven or Allah or Buddha even since
people in all countries around the world believe in the
university as the pathway to happiness or salvation or
success). Here is a mail I sent to Tim...
i was just thinking of starting something we could call EQI university. a lot of people still believe in universities and the university system. i am talking to a 17 year old girl in argentina who is planning to start uni. but i want her to work with me instead. i told her ayer that there is enough material on eqi to fill up 4 years of study. enough reading for example, and enough papers that could be written about the ideas and enough research that could be started from it. so i thought if u want some day u can help create a website to do that. have u seen the school of life videos? i learned a lot from them but they are too mainstream for me. they advocate psychotherapy for example in one video and they sell too much stuff on their website. so its still too much about money for my taste. anyhow id like it if we could help more pple learn these things.
|Nov 27 Ayer a few people
said "Happy Thanksgiving to me" I wrote to one
and said I don't give a **** about American holidays
anymore. And I feel sad for all the turkeys that are
I updated the page called What Undepresses Me
|Nov 26 - I've been working on my Paulish page. Also, thinking about Stephen Lewis as another example of an emotionally intelligent soldier. Here is an article by Democracy Now about him and others..|
|Nov 23 - started some j
writing - see nov 23
Nov 22 2015
ta (thinking about) Priscilla, Radovan, Tim, CJ, B, guy I talked to yesterday (ayer)
Feel love for Priscilla, B, even a little for Angela - who needs love or more specifically all of its ingredients... read more
"I measured love by how much pain someone would take from me"
This just made me cry...
It is around the 4 minute mark of this movie
I am also working more on the Ophelia. page
Also, I am getting more worried about money these days. My new gf is very expensive haha and she doesn't have rich parents like Priscilla had who send her money haha.
|Nov 20 2015 If you read
this note, please send me a word of
encouragement/support. I have been in a lot of pain,
depressed and lacking motivation to work on the site.
Thank you. Steve
And thank you to CJ who chatted with me last night. It helped a lot to talk to you.
Also, here are some notes from the book Reviving Ophelia.
|Nov 18 2015 It is hard to
keep trying when the person who knew you the best decides
your life doesn't matter.
I met someone else but she is not here now. I am alone. We hardly talk. She is a thousand miles away. I need someone here, next to me. Holding me.
|If you have been visiting the site regularly you saw my I miss Priscilla page instead of this home page. Today I thought of changing it to "I miss my Brazilian gf". But I will see her tonight, so for now I will just leave this page as it is. Steve Nov 1, 2015|
|Nov 7 - I am feeling more
inspired to write again A lot is going on. I am going to
start posting more pictures. Here are two from Brazil. I
am sitting in the hallway where I can work and eat while
my new partner sleeps. We already had a very good talk
this morning. About caring and controlling mothers, for
example. She realizes now her mother was much more
controlling than caring. I feel good I have helped one
more person become more aware. It looks like I am also
going to save her from the black hole - the university.
She is 22and was studying in what supposedly is the best
university in Brazil or even South America according to
some. But she was very depressed, confused, lost. She
told me she felt suffocated. Now she says she is very
happy. She is almost a 180 change from Priscilla.
Priscilla was almost always feeling pessimistic. Bea is
almost always feeling optimistic. Priscilla wanted to
become transgender and become a male. I laugh now. I
still love Priscilla but I don't need her so much now.
Now I have a 'replacement'. I felt replaced when P left
me and replaced me with Angela. But anyhow, ya paso as
they say in South America. It already passed. That is the
kind of attitude B has. She says But it was yesterday.
She doesnt place much value on talking about the past,
and I do, so this has been a conflict. But for today at
least I am feeling optimistic. I feel valued by B. And
very important to her. The other night I felt cared about
when I was feeling terrified, paralyzed, petrified. I
could not speak. I laid down in the floor and curled up
and cried. Eventually she did what I needed. Something P
was always too afraid to do. She came over to me. She
touched me. She stayed with me. She said many things to
try to comfort me. She called me her prince and other
sweet things. She is very feminine. Sometimes too much
haha. Like when she spends 1 hour in the bathroom and it
is already past checkout time in the hotel. haha. Like
yesterday. But we had a very relaxed person working in
that hotel and she didn't mind at all that we checked out
2.5 hours late! Now it is about 11 AM btw. I have so much
to write about I can't say it all... But anyhow that is a
little update. Thanks for reading. Oh, I told B that I am
really fucked up and I needed her to help me and she said
she is also fucked up and needs me. The other day she was
the one who was crying and I just sat there with her and
put my hand on her shoulder. P almost never cried. I feel
a little bad comparing them but... it is something I need
to do I guess. There have been times when I wished B
could talk about her feelings like P could, but overall
this is going pretty well. We have known each other 2
weeks and 2 days now haha. I will keep you posted. My
life has suddenly changed in a big way. There will be
lots to write about. If you feel depressed, keep thinking
about what you need and keep trying to find it. Maybe you
- update Dec 6 - It is a little too hard to post pictures - there are too many steps required. So I've pretty much changed my mind about posting pictures here. I might start a new fb account...it is easier to post them there. IDK yet.