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Feeling In Control or Out of Control
We all need to feel in control of our environment. We need it. We need it for our survival. For example, if it is too hot or cold we need to be able to change things to get our needs met. If we are tied to a train track and a train is coming, we need to not only feel in control, but actually be in control to save our life. No one else really knows what we need as well as we do. And it is our feelings which usually tells us what we need. That is one reason invalidation is so damaging to us. Just now I got up, adjusted the floor fan in the KFC where I am working. I realized how nice it is that no one stopped me. In fact, earlier, a friendly girl named Faziana or something helped me plug it in and turn it on. First, I was too hot. So she helped direct it right at me. There is no one else up here on the second floor so no one else can feel envious, disapproving etc. Then I got too cold. So I adjusted the fan. Now I am hungry. So I will go get a chicken burger! lol Now though, two employees started jabbering in Malay. And the KFC radio is talking. The music was ok, but now there is some advert type thing.. so I will move outside. (Wow I just saw there is a Hyatt hotel on the corner... Could be a good place to write...lol) I now think of teens who we work with and support. They have many needs, mostly emotional/psychologial and intellectual that they are not in control of. And also physical. They may need time alone, they may need to move. They may need to take a day or two off from school. But they can't. They are not legally free to. They are what I call teen prisoners. There is more I want to say about this but I am working on another aritcle now.. about needs conflicts... S. Hein |
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