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* under construction
This is a collection of writing about the words "appropriate" and "inappropriate". These words are too subjective. Also, they are typically used by authority figures to justify their actions. But they don't really say anything.
Too many people use the words instead of giving real explanations or what could be called "intelligent answers."
More subjective words
Other EQI.org Topics:
|From a Book on Parenting
Here is a quote a book on parenting
Notice the author's use of the word inappropriate. What if the parent thinks they hit the person in an "appropriate" way? Who is to decide?
A suggestion for the author might be to add this to the list of recommendations to parents:
"Appropriate" for Someone Who Doesn't Like
A school website says:
Among this "appropriate" punishment is jail as we see...
Again, who decides what is "appropriate?" Or a better question is, what emotional needs will be met in jail? And will jail magically cause a student to love school and learning?
Source: West Bend High School, USA
|YouTube says Hillary Adams
video is "inappropriate"
YouTube says Hillary Adams video is "inappropriate" - but beating her was apparently ok, according to her father. A man who was very successful by most American definitions. He went to law school, jumped through the hoops and then became a judge. But even being judge didn't satisfy his need for power.
So a child or teenager can't know what is happening in other homes. That is "inappropriate" according to someone you can't talk to at YouTube. Someone who has power over what you do. When are people going to have control over their own lives? And over the information they need... And the USA calls itself a free country....YouTube is based in California, by the way, not North Korea.
Here is the letter they sent to me, and my response.
|From a Parent in the USA
Who decides what is appropriate for
So what is a parent to do when these ratings are nationally accepted and you and your child will be labeled as prude for having tighter restrictions than society dictates? Well, that's up to you the parent which is exactly my point. You may decide these things are OK. That is your prerogative. You may also decide that your 13 to 17 year old should be restricted to PG 13 movies when their friends are watching R-rated movies. You may decide your kids need a new group of friends.
|So it seems according to this parent, a teenager's friends are selected according to the wishes or needs of the parents, not the needs of the teen. I can't think of many things more personal than selecting your friends. So if this is not your personal choice, based on your needs, how much freedom do you have, regardless of what your parents' government may tell you and the rest of the world?
Who Use the Word Inappropriate
People who use the word "appropriate" usually seem to believe they know what is "appropriate" for others.
I have also noticed that such people tend to be judgmental, self-righteous, and rigid in their thinking. Consider the child who is told, "Your behavior is not appropriate." The child doesn't understand what is wrong, though, since this is no explanation at all. It is simply a slightly more refined way of saying "Because I said so." - S. Hein
Use Policy at Northeastern University
Comments by S. Hein
Here is a good example of how the words appropriate and inappropriate are used. It starts out with this:
Then it says this:
One might ask "Who decides what is appropriate or inappropriate?" Here is the answer to that question.
Northwestern, by the way, has the reputation of being a university where some of the most intelligent young people in America, and from around the world, are admitted.
From the Book "Saving Jessie"
The book "Saving Jessie" was written by a mother about her daughter's use of heroin. Unintentionally, the mother shows the reader the many ways that the mother herself actually caused her daugther extreme emotional pain - pain which directly led to the daughter's need to use something as strong as heroin to numb herself.
In the book, the mother frequently talks about what was "appropriate" and "inappropriate" rather than giving real explanations or expressing her actual feelings and taking responsibility for them.
Here are notes from the book
|A letter from a graduate
student at Indiana University when I wrote to everyone in
the department about Maurice Garnier sexually abusing me
Reading this letter again a few years later triggers a strong feeling of hostility towards this person and to all over-educated (university wise) people like this. I guess that is all I will say about it. But it saddens me and sickens me to think this is the kind of person many universities produce. I feel offended that this person didn't get why I wrote to everyone. I only did so after the university ignored me. This person scares me. These kind of people scare me. I honestly say I hope this person doesn't become a parent. It offends me that he or she said they are sympathetic to my cause. Is that the sense you get when you read the letter? It sure as hell wasn't the sense I got then and not the sense I get now. S. Hein July 2007
I am still thinking about this letter. How this person asked a question and answered "of course not". This is offensive to me. This person sounds like a university professor already, giving a long lecture with almost no sense,or concern, with how the audience is feeling. How many university professors really care about their students? Too few I'd say. Especially in huge universities like the one I went to.
|From my list of criticisms
of Dan Goleman
Here is a excerpt from an article about the no-touching rule at a school in the USA
Again, who decides what is "inappropriate" and how do we know they are right?
|November 15, 2007
After a confused, tired Polish man who could not speak English was killed with a taser gun by the police in the airport in Canada, an airport authority said:
See also page 2
Today I started a page on what I call "decoding". The first 49 items are all from the same person. This is a person who frequently uses the words "appropriate" and "inappropriate".
|Recetly a teen wrote me
and said her classmates were saying
"inappropriate" things. So I asked her to look
at this page. She also said she was genius level IQ.
She wrote back this message
So I wrote this back to her...
ok but can you explain
more what you mean by "not to be talked about"
(The policy is actually even longer than this)
27. Use of Northeastern
University information systems must comply with
NOTICE OF RIGHT TO
CHANGE APPROPRIATE USE POLICY