The Connection Between Parenting and Teen Suicide, Depression and Self Harm

Please send this letter to anyone who wants to help suicidal teenages.or people who train those who want to help them, for example, psychologists, psychology professors, mental health workers and school counselors.

For over 10 years we at EQI.org have worked with teenagers who are depressed, self-harming and suicidal. We have found certain patterns and contributing factors which we want to share with you.

- Shouting, arguing, swearing in the home

- Being threatened with total abandonment such as “Get out of my house and never come back” or “Get out of the car” as a young child, then literally being left behind.

- Being told not to cry

- Not being hugged or comforted when crying.

- Being told to go to their room when crying as a child or teen

- Being made to feel responsible for their parents’ feelings

- Hitting, slapping, pushing, grabbing by the parents/guardians

- Physical/emotional/sexual abuse by mother’s boyfriend(s) or step father)s)

- Being psychologically, verbally and emotionally abused in uncountable small and large ways by the parents/guardians

- Instability - living in many different homes and cities

- Having no say in where they live or go to school

- Being ordered around without rational discussions

- Having their feelings are regularly invalidated, disrespected, ignored

- Having the police called on them by their own parents

- Unreported sex with family members such as cousins or brothers

- Fear of reporting abuse

- Feelng guilty at the thought of reporting abuse

- General fear of and distrust of adults, counselors, psychologists

- Being controlled, intimidated, threatened by police, teachers, mental health workers

- Having parents who have used drugs or are alcoholics

- Having parents who are depressed

- Coming from broken homes

- Coming from extremely religious homes

- Havin parents who have had many sex partners

- Being locked in homes and rooms

- Having their privacy invaded or removed (such as by removing doors to their rooms)

- Being punished arbitrarily and inconsistently

- Having cell phones and the Internet taken away as punishment for unrelated things and thus being cut off from their support network

- Being banned from the Internet for revealing family problems and making the parents look bad

If we can start to understand what is happening in the homes, maybe we can prevent a few suicides and suicide attempts.

There is a strong link between how teens are treated at home and their level of depression and thoughts of suicide. It is the duty of psychologists to investigate this cause and effect relationship more closely.

Please help save lives by spreading the message about these findings and encourage formal investigations of the home environments of depressed, self-harming and suicidal teens.