A Short Course On Invalidation

Teacher: Have you ever been crying and someone said "Don't cry"?
Student: Yes

Teacher: Did it help?
Student: No

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Teacher: Have you ever been worried and someone said "Don't worry"?
Student: Yes

Teacher: Did it help?
Student: No

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Teacher: Have you ever been angry and someone said "Don't get angry"?
Student: Yes

Teacher: Did it help?
Student: No

When someone tells us not to worry, or cry, or be sad or angry it is invalidation. Even if they have good intentions.

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This was an actual conversation between Steve Hein, founder of EQI.org, (the "teacher") and a mother in 2007.

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Read more on invalidation here.

Other EQI Topics

Respect
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