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Letter About an Emotionally Abusive Man


I just found this website tonight while looking for information about being married to an emotional abuser who is narcissistic.

The article about why counciling doesn't work describes my situations quite well. The difference is I have been on to my husband's emotional abuse for quite sometime and I have built up a file on all his outburst, mood swings, alcoholic episodes, and drug abuse.

My husband grew up in a boys home and later had cancer and afterwards was accepted into medical school. He is now a resident and we moved far from my family so he could isolate me from everyone I know.

He's become a monster with unstable mood swings, everyday is a different story, he is constantly bouncing from one mood to another and constantly is taking everything he says and changing it the next minute. I cannot make plans because everything makes him unhappy because of his mood shifts. We had a baby this past year before his moods took a nose dive straight down. He scares me, that's just been recent.

He wants a divorce and when I get ready to leave he freaks out and has rages because he can't control me. He changes for a day being sweet and taking all of it back but he always returns to the hateful black hearted man.

He is the extreme case of narcissism and though I am not a doctor he tells me he is bipolar and I believe him. He also claims to possibly have schizophrenia, which really scares me.

He talks about demons and all sorts of strange spiritual problems. He claims this is the reason he makes mistakes and is always blaming spiritual forces or me for all his problems.

I also believe these problems have become worse since he began his residency at our new location, I believe he may be taking the drugs he works with since he has direct access to them. I have found viles of medicine at home in the trash.

At this point I really want to get away but my have found problem is I'm a stay at home mom with no family around. I don't have any of my own income and completely rely on my husband (he knows this). I don't want to leave my husband unless I could win full custody of our daughter, whom I love with all my heart. Really now at this point that's all I care about.

I tell people my husband is an emotional abuser and they don't believe me because he is so nice on the outside. That's my question... how do you prove you're in an emotionally abusive relationship?

I've been told to buy a taping device and record him. I don't want to do anything illegal. I'm sure you've seen or read cases like mine and I just want to know some outcomes or advice, it would be comforting to know someone else has been through this and come out on top in the end.

Thank you.


(You can post this if you think it will help someoe else, but just please take out the names)

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