Don Carlos

Introduction

The electric bill

Borrowing money from me

Living alone

The flowers

When Laura left me

You don't understand!

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Dec 13 - More lies, You don't understand!

His name is actually Carlos but he likes to call himself "Don" Carlos. Like Don Quijote. This is something like saying "Sir William" in old England. He is the owner of the land where I am renting this little cabin.

He is in many ways a very typical Peruvian. He talks too much, acts like he knows everything and everything he does is the best way to do it, won't admit he doesn't know something or that he is wrong about something, brags about himself, lies, pressures you, gives you advice you didn't ask for, judges people and doesn't listen. And thinks Peru is the greatest place on earth.

Actually this sounds like a lot of fathers I've talked to in a lot of countries! Just change the name of the country.

Today I felt motivated to write about him because I saw the electric bill. It was for a total of 10 soles. Last month he said his wife wanted us to pay 20 for "our share" of the electricity. Maybe the bill is lower this month because Laura and I were gone for about ten days, but it still wouldn't add up. I think they basically wanted me to pay for not only our electricity, but theirs.

I also saw that they are more than 100 soles behind. It said the cut off date was the 21st of this month, December. Today is the 11th. He will probably ask me for more money.

There have been so many examples of this kind of thing in Peru. It leaves me with a lot of bad feelings.

He has borrowed five soles from me twice. The first time he paid it back the next day without me asking. The next time he didn't pay me back. He only mentioned it when he said that his wife wanted me to pay 20 for the electricity, what they call the luz, or light, here. (see note on their limited vocabulary, what I call "Spanish Light") He said "You loaned me 5 so you only need to pay me 15."

Maybe now he is thinking that he has already collected the electricity bill in advance again by "borrowing" money from me. Or maybe he really doesn't have many soles. He has sons and daughters that work in other countries. It is kind of hard for me to believe they don't help him out. He brags about how much money they make and what good jobs they have. But my guess is if they do help him out it is only because they feel obligated to.

I have been here about a month and a half. I have only seen his wife here one time. She was here another time, I know, because I saw her in the main town up the road, but I didn't see her on the property. Don Carlos thinks he knows so much about love. Then why do he and his wife live apart? It seems it is more of a business arrangement.

Yet he thinks he is an expert in relationships and love. He is always giving me unsolicited advice about love and Laura. He says "I am 72 years old. I am not 50 or 60. I am 72. I know what I am talking about. Women need this and women need that and a man has to do this and a man has to do that and blah blah blah."

He told me once how much his wife loved flowers. His wife has ordered him to water them everyday. And when he is gone for a few days he has his nephew come water them. He told me, "She would kill me if I let them die."

He told me she wouldn't want kids in her yard because they would damage the flowers.

When Laura left me, he at first showed some empathy. After he talked for a while he even asked me how I felt. But mostly he told me what I should do and what I should have done. The next day he actually called me crazy. He kept talking about what a "man" should do and kept saying "If I were you I would..."

When I was thinking about renting another room from him for Jerren he was trying to pressure me into renting one quickly.

He said a man should make decisions quickly, not think about things. Then he said something about Laura which I didn't understand but it was as if to prove to me he was right.

He kept pressuring me into saying yes for the first room then the second one on the second floor, which was filthy and had no bathroom, and then the old room he heats his hot water up with over the word burning fire. When I said "Are you sure you don't need to use the room?" He got defensive and said "If I needed to use it I wouldn't have offered it to you."

Then when I said the next day "Jerren would like to look at the room," he said something like "You two are fucked up. (jodido) He wants to "see the room." How fucked up is that?" Then he took me inside and said "This room has everything. It has water, it has electricity. It has everything!"

Yeah, it has holes in the roof, a dirt floor, and no bathroom. Yep. It has everything all right.

He was going into town to complain about something. He said "They will find out who Don Carlos is."

He also told me many times to "Tell them you are staying in the house of Don Carlos. They know me. I am their good friend." Once I did this and the person had to think for a while who I was talking about. They said "Oh, you mean the guy who always wears a big hat?".

One weekend it was some kind of patron saint festival. I guess the Spanish went around giving "patron saints" to all the towns. I suppose to protect the towns and blah blah blah. So on this weekend a lot of people put up decorations to honor the "patron saint" and of course "god" who the patron saints all work for no doubt. So some of the people came up with this bright idea on how to show their love for the "PS" and god. They go out to the fields, find some young trees and cut them down. Then they make arches out of them. They also cut a lot of flowers and put them on the arches. Yes, I think "god" loves the idea of killing nature to honor him and his "patron saints."

So anyhow, on the big day of the festival, they clang the church bells and the people go to the church like pigeons flocking to bread crumbs being thrown on the ground by an old lady in Paris. Then the typical goes on for about two hours inside, then they all come out and carry this huge thing around the town which has a statue of the "patron saint" on it. And at each house which has an arch type thing. They stop and the priest says some mumbo jumbo and sometimes the owner of the house says some pretty words too.

On the big day he sat there waiting till they procession came around to his place. I'm really kind of frustrated I didn't get a pic of it all. But I have other pics which give you an idea and some day I will put links to them maybe.

Anyhow, so they get to his house. And the priest says his stuff and then Don Carlos has a turn. He puts on this big show. He really should have been in theatre. He says something like "I want to thank god for this beautiful place I live in, my beautiful country of Peru and my beautiful town of so and so. I want to thank him for my beautiful wife, and my wonderful children." Yet his wife and children have all left him to live there alone, so it doesn't make too much sense to me why he is so thankful.

One day Don Carlos was telling us about the land on the hill behind his property. I will admit I didn't understand it all but I think he said something like it was his brother's and if we wanted to buy it we could. He would tell his brother and his brother would sell it to us.

Another day we were talking about his family and he told me his brother, who supposedly owned the land, died a few years back. He died very young. In his early fifties. I asked what happened. He said it was from drinking. That tells you a lot about the family right there. Then I asked if he had any children. He said he has one son, but quickly added the son is "no good." No surprise there if his father was an alcoholic and his uncle is judgmental Don Carlos.

Then later I asked him how the brother could sell me the land if he is dead. I thought this was a fair question. But he got upset with me and said "You don't understand!" It was really an attack. It reminded me of how Laura once said the same thing when she was upset that no one had emailed her. She snapped at me "Tu no entiendes!"

I am not sure what a person can say to something like that. About the best I can come up with is, "Would you like me to understand" (And I am thinking "Or do you just want to shout at me?) Or maybe I could say "I guess your are right. Can you help me understand?" But it is hard to stay so calm when you are being attacked. And when you have done nothing wrong. And have been attacked like that and in other ways pretty much all your life. Well for me it is anyhow. I just kind of want to say "Well, fine. Forget it then. Come find me when you want to have a decent conversation." And then walk off. But with Laura I knew that she would feel abandoned and rejected and that wouldn't help. So I just kind of stood there that day, or maybe I said "Do you want me to understand?" I can't remember. But I think that's what I said and I think she pretty much walked off then.

Anyhow, so he then explained to me that someone in Lima bought the land from the brother before the brother died but the guy in Lima never does anything with the land. Then he started judging the guy and saying something like "What is the purpose of having land if you are not going to plant anything on it and not going to put a house on it?! He should sell it and let someone use it."

But I still don't understand how Don Carlos thinks he can just tell the guy to sell the land to me. But of course I don't want to say any else to DC about this because he is likely to shout again: Tu no entiendes!

One night he was bragging about how great this country is. He said "I am going to tell you something. You will never find a better place in this world than right here. Where else can you find bread for 10 centimos?!"

Yesterday he came and asked me for money so he could pay the electric bill. He told me it was 140 soles, trying to get my sympathy, or trying to make it look like it cost a lot for the electricity. He asked for ten soles. I told him he already owes me ten. Then he said but last month you paid twenty. I said "Are you sure it is that much?" He said "Yes!" I said again, "Are you sure?" He insisted that it was that much. So I gave him ten soles. But it is bothering me now. What do I do? Do I admit that I looked at the electric bill?

Anyhow, if I basically show that he is a fucking liar, then what happens next? How will the "dynamics" change? Usually I avoid conflicts. Just write about things, or before, when I didn't have a website, just thought about them, over and over. And got resentful.

Do I act stupid, play innocent, ask him to please check the bill again? Do I say "Can we look at it together?" Do I say, "I have never seen an electric bill in Peru. Can you show me what one looks like?"

I am so tired of these fucking Peruvians. There are too many like him. Then he laughs and says "Now we are even. You don't owe me anything and I don't owe you anything." And then he quickly changes the subject. He says "Did you meet my son today?" I'd like to say "Yeah, and I wish I would have told him his father is a fucking liar."