Teenopendiary - TOD

I am just about starting to cry now. The memories of TOD. Teenopendiary.

I just checked my own site to see what I had written about TOD. Here is what I found first on the list: (Its interesting to see what people read most on my site, according to google)

 

Jessisca in the USA

Please read this. It says so much.
I can see why it is the most read article on my site about TOD.

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Ok, so what is teenopendiary? How can I describe it without crying?

I can't. I'm already crying now.

I used to write there. I wrote almost everyday. I met so many people. I learned so much. I cried so much. I've only met a couple people in real life that I met through teenopendiary. One was Tatiana. She might actually be the only person I ever met from TOD. I met Nicole, but I met her first on Opendiary.com, not TOD. Yeah, I think Tatiana is the only one I have ever actually met. I think I will put her last name on my site again so she will write me again. Her full name is Tatiana Dolgushina. I'd hate to ever forget her name. She wrote to me a year or two ago and asked me to take her last name off. So I did. She never wrote back again. I feel a bit forgotten by her so I will put it back on. For that and also so you will be able to search google and read some of her other poetry and learn a bit about her. I don't know if she writes to the other sites and says "please take my name off your site." Maybe she likes some of past more than other parts of if. I suppose I can understand this and if she writes me again, I might take her name down again. I'm not sure. She would be about 18 now I'd say. Maybe even 19.

By the way Tati, if you read this, and I am pretty sure you will, since you like to check your name on google, lol, let me know how you feel. Use feeling words. lol. You always were pretty good with expressing yourself without them, but I'd like to challenge you to do it with feeling words this time. In some ways I miss you, Tati, in some ways I wish I could go back to the mall and talk to you some more. Go back to your school and walk around with you have you tell me all your memories.

Anyhow, let me get back to teenopendiary....

It's a place where a lot of suicidal, depressed teens write. If you care anything at all about teenagers, especially intelligent, sensitive ones, please have a good look at TOD. I can't get it open right now but there is something called diary circles, and in that there are categories like depression. Read some of that if you care about teens or want to understand why a teen would kill themselves.

I learned more from teenopendiary about life, about parenting, about love, about caring, and understanding than from probably anywhere else. I also learned about self-hatred. And emotional abuse. It's all there in the writing of sensitive, intelligent teenagers.

I just checked google for "intelligent sensitive teens" first I didn't put quotes around the words, then I did. Try that if you want. The results may be interesting. I'll tell you what I found though when I put quotes around the words. I only found four results.

Four.

Only four people in the world (as per google) have used those words in that order.

Is this indicative of how little we think of teens as intelligent and sensitive? But what if I check "stupid, selfish teens"? Well, I just did, and only got one result. That surprised me. Expected a lot.

Anyhow, let's try "sensitive, intelligent teens".

No results.

Then I took the quotes off and found a lot of results

Then I tried putting quotes like this "sensitive, intelligent" teens and found lots of things too. One was this...

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/teens/depression.html

I will go back and read it sometime maybe, but for now I just want to comment on the first things I read.

It seems like the parents are pretty clueless as to why their teenage "kids" as they call them, are depressed and suicidal. They seem to think that the best thing to do is call a mental health "professional." I didn't notice a parent who suggest that the parent go get some help. Maybe there are some parents who understand a little more about cause and effect, but I didn't spend much time on the site.

I did find this though, which was a little encouraging and interestingly enough contained the term "sensitive, intelligent"

My oldest son is now 16, and we had similar talks with him when he was 13/14 about death, dying, anger, killing himself, and my husband got totally upset. We consulted a psychologist, and he asked if there had been any actions, attempts, that just having thoughts was not necessarily dangerous. We were told that many boys have these thoughts, and the fact that our son expressed them to us was a very good thing. That we should listen, and not be judgmental, and not try to "fix" things, but to be there for him. To spend time with him. To talk with him and let him figure out a solution. And the changes he finally made were very modest. It was just the fact that my son felt that he had choice. It was also very helpful having a professional give us guidance. My son actually was only willing to talk to him twice. I suggest reading the book, "Raising Cain, Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys," by Kindlon and Thompson. What you're seeing is how our society is incredibly sexist, and trashes the emotions of boys, especially sensitive, intelligent boys. And while our society denies it, I think most boys are very sensitive and intelligent, which is where all the anger comes from, the repeated snuffing of our boys' emotional expression. And unfortunately, schools and the way schools are set up, start this when boys are 5. Here's a referral to a wonderful psychologist: Kirk Hewitt: 510-869-2545 Good luck. Anonymous

(Note - It is actually Kirk Hewett)