Thank
You's From Adults
From Teens
Steve... I found and read the "respect" and "validation" sections of your site via a Google search and they have really helped me out. After having the realization that these were areas where I needed work I sought information and your site was the first I found. I am no longer as afraid of certain situations as I was and in a way it's almost fun to see how well I can handle them now. I was mostly motivated because my boss and I did not communicate well but just after two weeks things are much better. I find that I can apply it to friends and my girlfriend as well and it works great.
I just wanted to let you know a
few things. 1st of all, I hope you read this!
You are truly awesome, and you have opened my heart and my mind
so much.
Until I read your online book, I never really knew what was going on inside, I never could figure out what was wrong when I laid my head down at night, and because of you I have been unmedicated for 3 months now. And because of you, my relationship with my daughter has been absolutely wonderful. Since I have read your website, I have learned how to be more understanding, how to use my words better, and how not to judge or teach my daughter how she is "supposed" to be. She is able to talk to me about things going on at school that is bothering her, she even recently cried in my arms because her Dad cancelled on with her on her birthday. I just sat and cried with her and listened, I didn't tell her what she should do or how she should feel, I just empathized. She could actually verbalize how she was feeling, something that I was never good at until now. She is nine and I am 34 and we have a very solid, good mother daughter relationship, and i check in with her feelings all of the time!!! and I don't feel guilty anymore after the day is over, because I feel that what you have taught me is the right way to raise children. And is the right way to feel, and the right way for her to live and be happy. I am not saying that i have perfected everything I do, believe me I AM STILL STRUGGLING with other personal things, but I know how to figure out what is bothering me now, and I know how to verbalize them now, and I know how to help myself feel better by giving myself realistic choices to change my situation that will help me feel better.
The biggest thing that was
bothering me was my daughter. We would argue before
she would go to bed, she would say she couldn't go to sleep
and I would say yes you can, your not trying. She would become
really defensive. And I would tell her she shouldn't talk
to me that way, ect. And then she would go to bed upset with me.
Many of our conversations went this way. I couldn't figure out
why at the end of the day it bothered me so
much. I kept thinking that is how my parents raised me.
Not once did I ever think that I might be causing the
problem. A light bulb came on the day I read your online book,
and my relationship with my daughter has completely
changed. I heard her friends tell her a couple of weeks
ago, "Your mom is really cool! She is so
understanding." My daughter didn't know I was there,
and I heard her tell her friends, "I know." I
can't even begin to explain to you how that made me feel. I
feel like a good parent now, not just an ok parent on a
downward slope. Thank you, from the bottom of my
heart. Words are not enough.
Thank you for helping me get my feelings in check. You helped me focus. I can support my daughter better now. Thank you, thank you.
Thank you for creating eqi.org. In the last year I have become financially independent and succeeded in healing physically to a point where I feel ready to grow in new directions. I feel grateful and glad to have happened upon your site with so much personal insight and practical information. I hope that hearing thanks for your work will brighten your day, that's all. : )
I wanted to thank you for the website you created and the work that your doing... When I was about 16, I started cutting myself. For a few years I stopped...things got better and I didn't feel depressed anymore.
I'm 21 now, and lately it seems like everything is going wrong. I want to hurt myself again, I've wanted to for awhile now and a few days ago I cut myself again for the first time in 3 years. I don't want to talk to anyone I know about it...it just worries them. I was feeling the urge to do it tonight. All of my failures and everything wrong in the world boiled at the top of my mind and I wanted to cut deeper this time. Instead...I decided to search the web to see if there was anything on there that might possibly help. (honestly, I didn't expect much)
Well...I found your website. I've felt really alone for awhile...it was comforting just to know that there is someone out there who truly cares and to know that I'm really not the only one. I feel like I am no longer alone...like I don't have to be perfect and it will be ok.
Thank you so much,
Hi there!
I want to thank you, and I think I ought to tell you some of my story first so you can understand how much your site means to me.
I recently left a very abusive relationship at home with my family. It was physically abusive too but for the most part emotionally abusive. Since the physical abuse wasn't happening every day and I (despite having taken a few courses in psychology) really really REALLY didn't understand much about emotions much less emotional abuse(and barely do now), it took long to come to terms with my situation and leave. With the help of people from my university I was able to move out onto my school's residence.
I felt a lot freer. I get to keep my things out without fear of ridicule or someone stealing them or throwing them out. Same with not having peace broken unecessarily. Yet I still felt guilty. Some weeks into my new life I got insomnia. It was a bit of a leftover from staying up too late over the holidays but it stayed because I kept (and keep) dreaming about life back THERE and semi unconsciously wanted to avoid dreams of that place.
One of these nights I looked up emotional abuse, and since I wasn't interested in abuse in a romantic relationship, I clicked on your site. Just about every criteria for emotional abuse had been met! Wow. That helped me a lot, understanding that it WAS happening, first off, and naturally why I feel so confused and lost and depressed today. I'm in a bit of a daze since I left but reading things here has made me better in not feeling guilty.
They really should teach emotional intelligence in schools and there should be special attention spent on emotional abuse because I think once people understand emotional abuse they can understand the other abuses as well. Not that emotional abuse is any less, but so many of my friends really don't get it. I have to tell them the worst of the physical abuse before they agree that it was right that I considered leaving and did finally leave. Also I think that anyone in any kind of abusive relationship is being emotionally abused and many just sweep whatever abuse it is under the rug and so many jerks of the world get away with something kids think they deserve "for being bad".
I do wish I could help you some way. I have some private journal entries about the different abuses, if they can help other people understand they're not alone and abuse is not their fault, let me know!
Thanks again, A LOT.
Thank you for the great and helpful
articles. I really appreciate your investment in the lives of
others.
Gratefully yours,
Tiger
Tiger Todd, Principal
Hero School
Las Vegas NV 89146
www.heroschool.us
I need to tell you after years of searching, reading, and listening to books nothing has helped me any more than your information has. It made me realize that I am so much worse than I really am and I truly need serious help. I had no idea the depths of my problems from years and years of verbal abuse from a serious passive aggressive man. Finally found a great therapist who seems to understand and helping me. It was your article that showed me that I had to do more. Also forward your article to tons of on-line support groups that I belong to and everyone is shocked and fascinated by your information....thank you
Kim