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What's Wrong With NVC?

Here is part of a chat from Dec 7, 2016 ...

Her: why do u think nvc is not good at emotional support?
Me: from my experiences with the people who study, teach and practice it

Her: hmm
what do u think they are not doing?

Me: they focus too much on the technique that they have learned. they try to apply it like a recipe. do u know what i mean? and they don't send hugs

also they seem not to believe that it is possible that someone else can hurt you with their words or their silence

Her: I don't llike the extreme of the whole "be responsible for your own pain"
But That Is Marshal Rosenberg's belief too
Because the idea is that it can only be a stimulus
Not The cause

me: right. exactly.


I'm T\torn about it
I still like nvc
But not those parts
And I hate that they seem so egotistical
If I say I need acceptance or love
They will almost immediately say "you need self acceptance"
Or you need "to love yourself"
Is That empathy?
They are so lost
We are not designed to be independent
We are all dependent
we are group species
Without intimacy we cannot function
Without Belonging, it's like death
Approval And belonging

me: ha ha hug

(I laughed because she said assholes. i liked that. even though it is not PSP correct)

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Here is something from another chat where we were talking about the nvc group in brazil. my own experiences are both from brazil and the usa primarily but a bit from other countries too...

i don`t have good experience with the people from the group....