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here is another page on decoding

* under construction

Decoding The English Language

The general I idea is to try to convert "coded" expressions into emotionally literate "decoded" ones using feeling words.

In othe words, trying to figure out and understand what statements really mean, and how people feel, what their emotional needs are and how they want you to feel. Many expressions are now like some kind of secret code which must be decoded.

Things are much easier when communication direct, clear.

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How does someone feel (how is someone feeling) when they say

You mean you still haven't gotten over that?

Delete that right now. Haven't you heard of privacy? EVER?

That was VERY RUDE

It's nobody's business how old my boyfriend is or what I look like or what I did in the past.

and you still don't know what I'm capable of (after I wrote that she knows how to swear very well in English)

Clinton saying "how dare you?"

Intimidation and guilt trip

maybe here

Clinton&aposs Angry Response to Heckler - YouTube

You brought this upon yourself  
We already talked about that - related personal story  
"You never run out of ideas, do you?"

"It's not going to happen"

steve: how u feel about what i want to do -- my "plan"

Nelia: it is okay

Nelia: in fact, im happy about it

Nelia: i get the impression you try so hard for me

Nelia: you dont have to do that you know

steve: yes i know i dont have to.. now put that in feeling words...

steve: i mean put "you dont have to you know"into feeling words. ie I feel_____ and just one word. but do that sentence completion as many times as u can

Nelia: hmm... let me think...

see nelia file for rest of this xx

Nelia: afraid maybe

steve: and also tell me what ur afraid of...

Nelia: disappointing you

Nelia: cause you tried so hard and at the end of the day, you'll see something in me and become very much disappointed with it

I thought we went through this before. What's the problem with the page now?  





"I sometimes wish I had a corporate decoder for each relationship," one woman laments. "It's very hard to know what people are feeling in my office and how I should respond." Her comment prompts a discussion about the difficulty in the workplace of finding a balance between reasonable openness and respectful discretion.

From Tony Schwartz Article