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Body Language

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Here is an email I got about this...


Thanks for writing eqi.org! Your articles are a huge help to me.

A friend and I were wondering: Do you have any resources about
body language? If so, I'd love to hear about your take on it.
It's one of the topics about human interaction that confuses me
the most.

Take care,

Here is my reply.\

Hi ___

Sorry but I dont think I have anything in particular on that, but I will say that I have heard the body doesn't lie.

It is a big area for study though, and I tend to believe that its true that you can learn a lot about the person's real feelings from their body language.

Take for example, when a person is caught lying and he/she turns red in the face.

Maybe I will post your letter to start a page on this actually...


Also, here are some notes from one of my fav psychologists about body language.

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From Nathaniel Branden's Honoring the Self Tape - Side 1

Here is a transcript from Branden's cassette tape

I’d like to add some specifically physical indicators that you will notice in persons with good self esteem. Watch for these. Check yourself out for them. They are very interesting physical signs that we tend to find where we see good self esteem. We tend to see:

1. Alert, bright and lively eyes.

2. A relaxed face that exhibits natural color and good skin vibrancy.

3. A chin that is held naturally in alignment with the body.

4. A relaxed jaw.

5. Shoulders that are relaxed and erect.

6. Relaxed, graceful and quiet hands.

7. Arms that hang in a relaxed, natural way.

8. A relaxed, erect and well balanced posture.

9. A walk that is purposeful without being aggressive or overbearing

10. A voice that is modulated with an intensity appropriate to the situation and with clear pronunciation.

Did you notice how the theme of relaxation occurs again and again? Relaxation implies that the person is not hiding him or herself, is not at war with who he or she is. Chronic tension conveys a message of some form of internal split or self denial or self disowning or self repudiation. It suggests that some aspect of the self is being disowned or being held on a very tight leash. The human voice is often a profoundly eloquent indicator of self esteem. People with high self esteem are willing to take responsibility from what they say. Therefore, they are willing to be heard. They speak clearly, not over-loudly or over-aggressively.