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Authors William Glasser
From wglasser.com:
Choice
Theory
The 1998
book, Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal
Freedom, is the primary text for all that is
taught by The William Glasser Institute. Choice theory
states that:
- all we
do is behave,
- that
almost all behavior is chosen, and
- that
we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic
needs: survival, love and belonging, power,
freedom and fun.
In
practice, the most important need is love and belonging,
as closeness and connectedness with the people we care
about is a requisite for satisfying all of the needs.
Choice theory, with the Seven Caring Habits, replaces
external control psychology and the Seven Deadly
Habits. External control, the present psychology of
almost all people in the world, is destructive to
relationships. When used, it will destroy the
ability of one or both to find satisfaction in that
relationship and will result in a disconnection from each
other. Being disconnected is the source of almost all
human problems such as what is called mental illness,
drug addiction, violence, crime, school failure, spousal
abuse, to mention a few.
Relationships
and our Habits
Seven Caring Habits |
Seven Deadly Habits |
1. |
Supporting |
1. |
Criticizing |
2. |
Encouraging |
2. |
Blaming |
3. |
Listening |
3. |
Complaining |
4. |
Accepting |
4. |
Nagging |
5. |
Trusting |
5. |
Threatening |
6. |
Respecting |
6. |
Punishing |
7. |
Negotiating differences |
7. |
Bribing, rewarding to control |
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The Ten
Axioms of Choice Theory
- The
only person whose behavior we can control is our
own.
- All we
can give another person is information.
- All
long-lasting psychological problems are
relationship problems.
- The
problem relationship is always part of our
present life.
- What
happened in the past has everything to do with
what we are today, but we can only satisfy our
basic needs right now and plan to continue
satisfying them in the future.
- We can
only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures
in our Quality World.
- All we
do is behave.
- All
behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four
components: acting, thinking, feeling and
physiology.
- All
Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct
control over the acting and thinking components.
We can only control our feeling and physiology
indirectly through how we choose to act and
think.
- All
Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named
by the part that is the most recognizable.
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Core Components of EQI.orgRespect | Empathy
Caring | Listening
Understanding
Other EQI.org Topics:
Emotional Literacy
Invalidation | Hugs
Emotional
Abuse |
Feeling Words
Depression |Education
Emotional
Intelligence
Parenting | Personal
Growth
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