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Written in 2006
I was thinking about Laura
again this morning. And about helping her financially.
Even though we weren't "married" in the legal
sense, I still feel a desire to help her. I still care
about her. It hurts me to think of her suffering.
Now let's contrast this
with marriage and divorce laws.
When two people get married and divorced it is common for
them to hate each other and want to hurt each other. It
is common for them to try to punish one another. One of
the ways they do this is financially. It may be a man who
lies to the court so he can pay his ex-wife less alimony.
Or it may be the wife who lies to the court to try to get
as much money out of her ex-husband as possible,
partially, if not principally, motivated by a desire to
So let's think about why divorce laws were created.
If everyone acted as Laura
and I are acting, divorce laws would be unnecessary. I
have no doubt, by the way, that Laura would also want to
help me as much as possible, not hurt me, even though we
were not able to live together under the circumstances we
Laws are based on the use of fear, force and punishment.
Love is based on desire, compassion and caring.
Laws force someone to obey. Love forces no one to do
So I was just wondering, what if we taught young people
how to love instead of how to obey?
April 4, 2006
Components of EQI.org
Respect | Empathy
Caring | Listening
Other EQI.org Topics:
Invalidation | Hugs
Parenting | Personal Growth
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