Abuse of Power - More from Naty´s House

This is from my journal on July 10 2007

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Telling someone, "because those are the rules" is an abuse of power.

Saying “When you are 18 you can do what you want” is an abuse of power.

Saying or implying “When you are living in my house you will follow my rules” is an abuse of power.

She (Nathaliie) wanted an explanation. (why she couldnt go to plaza artigas)

"I am opposed to anything that will stop her progress." (what the father kept saying)


He said

Nathaly, I’m not stupid. You think that I don’t know anything, but I have seen it with my own eyes. They even are doing sex on the street. They are doing oral sex and sex sex. I know what happens there. Don’t act like I don’t know what is happening because I do.

At one point she said “I want to go there because you won’t let me.” And she smiled.

At one point they were both trying to talk and she was saying "Papa, escuchame." (Papa, listen to me) And he said, ""No, you listen." And she gave in and let him talk.

She was out-powered, not out-reasoned.

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People with more power than you give you power over other people. Those other people are called your children.

The people who give you the power are the lawmakers. The lawmakers are backed up by people who have guns and jails, and who will use physical force on you and your children.

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At one point he was almost stomping his feet saying “Nathaly, Nathaly, Nathaly” He was saying it in this voice that said “You don’t know anything. Admit it and just accept it.”

She couldn’t see what was happening and mock him. She didn’t stomp her feet and say “Papa. Papa. Papa”

He almost never looked at her. That scares me really.

Later he told me "she gets half of my love just because she is my daughter. But the other half depends on what she does. If she does the wrong thing she loses it and I told her that."

I never asked him what he meant by progress.

I would like to but at this point I am just playing with him. Acting dumb like Columbo. To get information out of him which I can use against him to prove my case. It is unfair because he is on a totally different level. It is like if someone were asking me questions about physics, or quantum physics. Or how to fly a space ship.

Giving parents power without giving them training is like putting them inside a space ship, then blasting it off and saying “we trust you to know what to do.”

-

I asked her what she wanted to do and she said maybe psychology. I said "Do your friends come to you with their problems?" She said, "Yes I am always giving them advice."

I told her that when they trained me to be a suicide prevention counselor they said the most important thing was not to give advice because you don’t know the people and it is not your life and the consequences won’t be yours.

She got a little defensive and said "But after you spend a lot of time with them you do get to know them so you know what is best for them."

But making them dependent on you isn’t what is best for them.