Emotional Intelligence | Two Kinds of Parents
Two Kinds of Societies
I am not sure who the author of this is...
I found it on a discussion board set up to discuss the movie "War on Kids." It is also found on another website but so far I haven't had success loading that one.
|There are two kinds of societies
of human beings
There are those that trust the innate intelligence of their children, their innate desire to learn and grow and to be part of the community of life; these societies are typified by their empathy, lack of domination or coercion and by their ability to work with nature. These societies tend towards co-operation. These societies do not tell their children WHAT to think or do, and they tend towards less religiosity, and a spirituality that is individually experienced. These societies understand that the lived experience of each person, each being, is unique and that trust of the innate natural intelligence of children results in adults who craft societies that are stable, happy and sustainable. The are less rules required when innate empathy is functioning. They tend towards attachment parenting as the most natural and nurturing care of children. They are able to deal with a wide variation of behaviours, for they give space to the diversity inherent in those variations. They tend towards non hierarchical communities. They have great difficulty in dealing with the other variation of society, because they are innately non-violent. When they are faced with anger, frustration, misunderstanding etc within their own communities they tend towards conflict resolution. They ritualise violence if the feelings run very high when any issues arise. At present there are about 300 million people of these societies alive, and they are under direct threat of extinction.
There are those societies that do not trust the innate intelligence of children, and the adults, who themselves were dominated as children and therefore 'adjusted' to that society, seek to control or dominate their children so as to 'form' them in their own image as extensions of themselves. They find it difficult to accept that each child is a person in his or her own right. These kinds of societies are typified by a lack of empathy, a justification for coercion and violence and a generalised emotional blindness. They tend towards rigid structured hierarchies. They tend towards religiosity. They tend towards competition. They tend towards hoarding great wealth and building huge structures to reflect their sense of power. They tend to fear nature, and seek to dominate nature. They actively suppress any children whose innate intelligence resists that domination. These societies are trauma based, in that they are unable to metabolise their trauma and thus the PTSD is transmitted from generation to generation. This is the unresolved trauma society. This kind of society is the current dominant society, because they have been willing to cause harm to build and expand.
What is happening now, and what this movie is a small yet very important part of, is that we are recognising these two streams of human society and their roots in child rearing.
We can choose to work through the trauma, and build a future that is co-operative without the need for excessive control, or we can choose to ignore the unresolved trauma and continue as we are, with more wars, more harm to the environment, and more excessive control being exercised over people and habitat and all that dwell there.
In nature the core biological function of all living being is to improve the habitat for life...The societies who trust their children's innate nature are closest to letting nature takes it's course to self-improvement.
It is crucial to understand that the damage to the developing brain of a human being, the natural child, that occurs in dysfunctional child rearing practices, be they subtle or gross, can be very long lasting as they can hard-wire that brain for 'survival' in an near permanent anxious state, the state a child so treated grows into.
This damage can in most cases be attenuated. A better option is to avoid causing the damage in the first place.