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Handling Resentment



What is resentment?

Resentment is the: 


How is my resentment manifested?

When I am filled with resentment toward a person or group of people I:


How does resentment develop?

Resentment can be the outcome of:

What are the negative effects of my unresolved resentment?

When I have unresolved resentment I:

What irrational thinking underlies my resentment?

How can I overcome resentment?

Techniques I can use to rid myself of resentment include:



Steps in overcoming resentment

Step 1: To overcome any resentment I have against a person or people in my life I first need to identify who they are and what they did to make me resentful. I need to answer the following questions in my journal:

A. Toward whom in my past or present do I hold any level of resentment?

B. What did each of these people do to hurt, offend, or victimize me?

C. How real or imagined are these offenses?

D. What has the specific resentment against each of these people done to my attitude about me and my future?

E. How paralyzed am I in my efforts toward personal growth by the resentment I carry toward each of these people?

Step 2: Once I've identified each person I have resentment against and the extent to which this resentment has affected me, I need to develop a new way of looking at my past, present, and future life. To do this I need to answer the following questions in my journal:

A. What irrational thinking am I locked into because of my resentment?

B. How will ridding myself of resentment help me to develop a positive belief system in my life?

C. How can I loosen the bonds and open myself in anger work-outs over those I resent?

D. What blocks my attempts to express my anger openly?

E. How hard am I working at overcoming my blocks to anger?

F. What new behavior do I need to develop to freely express my anger and rid myself of energy-draining resentment?

G. What new rational thinking do I need to develop to overcome the negative impact of my resentment?

H. How will my life be positively impacted by getting rid of my resentment?

I. What new behavior do I need to develop to ensure that new resentment doesn't arise?

J. What new attitudes and approaches do I need to develop after ridding myself of resentment?

Step 3: Now that I've considered a change in attitude and belief system, I need to:

A. Write in my journal a letter (I will never mail these letters so I can be as brutally honest and straight forward in them) to each person I resent. In it list all real or imagined offenses.

B. Explain for myself why each person treated me badly. Was it real or imagined?

C. Forgive each person, let go, and forget the offenses. (See the prologue of this book for an example of a letter of resentment.)

Step 4: Once I've let go of all of my resentment through forgiving and forgetting, I need to visualize my life, present and future, without the negative impact of resentment. I need to log this vision in my journal, and affirm its reality daily.

Step 5: If I am still bogged down by the negative effects of resentment, then I need to go back to Step 1 and begin again.