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Feeling Encouraged


Lisa and Flower Feelings

Jolette Jai

Ashley Casale

- http://www.avaaz.org/

Intelligent Answers Nov 1, 2011 Note


Today I feel encouraged because I have seen what Lisa is doing for children in the USA, or rather, in the world. I realized I have been feeling discouraged by a lot of things over the past 10 years or so. I felt hopeless too many times. I decided to create this page to help me feel encouraged when I need it. I hope it also helps others.

I also feel encouraged because several people are helping me now. More than ever before. Each in their own small or large way. I can't name them all now. Some don't want to be named. But I want to acknowledge them. So I will list some of their initials, A,C, HL, P,T,D,J,K,K,L

I will also tell you more about two people who are close to full-time volunteers for EQI.org now

P- Her website is www.whatdepresses.me

Tim - Here is part of his first letter to us

I am also feeling encouraged because this week I have been going thru old mail so we can make a mailing list. While reading the old mail I am finding emails I don't remember ever reading. Many of them are so supportive. They come from both teens and adults and from all over the world. But in the past few years I haven't had time to really even read all my mail or to write back to people who have sent in thank you letters. But as I am coming across them over and over, it reminds me that my site is really helping a lot of people, and in some small or big way, making a difference in people's lives and in the world. With the help of volunteers like Tim, I hope to post more of these thank you and support letters. But to anyone who reads this and maybe has sent a letter that never got a reply: Thank you.

S. Hein
El Jadida, Morocco
Nov. 28, 2010

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Why I do this work. (This doesn't really fit on this page but I just wrote it now. Nov 28, 2010 because a couple people asked me about it this week.)


From: Tim Grahek
Subject: Emotional intelligence and war and other things. Finally came around to emailing you.
Date: Wednesday, May 20, 2009, 1:24 PM

Hi Steve,

It's been months that I've been looking at your site. It's helped me so much with my own life and my perception of life itself. Thank you so much for keeping it up and posting this information that I hope someday more people will notice.

Anyway, my name is Tim. I am a strong supporter of emotional intelligence. I read your site on my free time to learn more about things that many people of have misunderstood or misperceived. It is interesting to read, to hear about your stories in different countries. I've sent your site to a bunch of friends of mine, some taking a real look at the information and some not. Oh, and I'm 16. When I send your site to most people, they either don't look at enough information to realize what is being said, I guess, or they simply cannot understand because of how they grew up... But then I have a close friend who does understand it, which is great.

I was really hesistant on emailing you. It seems like I was battling with the same mental conflict as that guy Kel who had emailed you before. It's just... I really wanted to thank you, but I also wanted to tell you why your site helped me; but then I didn't... well I don't know what was holding me back, actually.

Well, to explain why your site helped me, it helped me see a look on life that is the most logical and rational than anything I've heard of. I'm glad I discovered it when I did, because at some point after, I had huge problems with my dad and his family and my mom. Like, uh, no one would side with my dad because they did not understand his situation. My dad had been under emotional abuse all throughout his life. He's told me all about it, and he's always been so caring with me and so much like a very personal friend would care for another. It is actually how a genuine father-son relationship should work out to be...

He was suicidal at times, in fact. He would email me about it and sort of... vent with me. And that's where I want to thank you, but not yet. Anyway, my dad is homeless now, and for the first couple of weeks, he was suicidal and said that he only stayed around because of my brother and I.

Well, I don't know if I should go into quite into the most amount of detail, but I'll just say that my dad's side of the family was emotionally abusive to my dad...

Since I had read your site and all that beforehand, and I had a lot of experience understanding myself and others by talking online with a few people for many many months, I was able to handle my dad's situation well enough that he isn't suicidal anymore. I mean, eventually he had stopped thinking about what his family did to him (he had always talked about it constantly to me before). Eventually he met people in the homeless community that he could associate with.

To finish up this email, I just want to thank you so very much for being who you are and doing what you do. You are sort of the figure that I can look up to and do look up to. I admire you so much.

I didn't get around to talking about war, but yeah, I think it's not emotionally intelligent and I very solumnly agree with your petition.... I disagree with war because it can be avoided altogether,

Anyway, I think this is enough now, lol.

Thanks again, hope to hear a reply back if you have time; if not, that's ok,


Note - Tim has been a big supporter of EQI ever since his first mail (and apparently even before. He has helped us in many ways since he was 16. Now he is 18 and taking time off from studying, mostly to help us spread the EQI ideas and vision. We are hoping to be able to create a long time paid position for him if we can become financially sustainable.

Jolette Jai

Somehow I found her website on non-violent parenting. It caught my interest and I watched this video she made about emotions, emotional intelligence and kids


In it she mentions my website and the list of feeling words. BTW I haven't had time to write to her yet. But if someone would like to do that, I'd appreciated it. Then let me know and I will make a note of that here.

Why I do this

People ask me why I do this. Why I care so much. Why I am so driven by my work. Here is how I will try to explain it.

If you believe in God, then it is God who commands me to do this. He will not let me give it up. When I try, he always brings me back to it. He somehow tells me I am needed, this work is needed. Teens need it, children need it. Humans need it. The world needs it.

If you believe in nature, then it is my natural feelings which mottivate me to do it. It is my love for children. My love for teenagers. My sadness, my pain when I see and know what is happening. It is my survival instinct. It tells me we all depend upon each other. We must all help each other. We are all in this together. We must all work to stop the killing, the hurting, the abuse of all kinds. I relate the most to emotional abuse because that is how I was damaged. I am sensitve. Nature made me that way. Nature and evolution have programmed me to feel my feelings and try to use them to make my life and the lives of others less painful, more satisfying, rewarding, enjoyable and fulfilling.

If you believe in destiny. Then this is my destiny.

If you believe in calling, then this is my calling.

That's the best way I can explain it.

S. Hein

Non Lethal Weapons

My Petition



Adversarial legal system no place for resolving family issues (UK). http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/sep/23/family-courts-middle-class-divorce-judges


Intelligent Answers

Feeling discouraged, then encouraged.

I just told my partner I was feeling frustrated because there are so many things wrong in the world I can't even keep up with them by writing about them.

Then I went back to work on my writing. At one point I decided to google "Intelligent answers" to see if anyone had found my writing yet. At first I didn't see it in the top ten. I wasn't too surprised or disappointed, or discouraged. Then I changed the number of results per page from 10 to 100. Then I noticed I had searched the first page for equ not eqi. So I corrected it. Immediately, I found out that my site was listed. In the top ten even. So I could change the search settings back to 10. I counted where my page was on the list and it was number five. I am pretty proud of that. I feel encouraged by it.

I wonder how much difference my writing will make in the world over time. I wonder if I will ever be somewhat famous like Thoreau. He was definitely ahead of his time. Well, back to work. I have about 10 files open and in process write now. IE ten different pages I have started to modify or I have just created today...

S. Hein
Nov 1, 2011
KK Malaysia

TeenPrizner: so i guess my parents are going to email you

TeenPrizner: and they want to see my emails now, too

steve: ...

steve: i feel pretty discouraged atm

TeenPrizner: yeah..

TeenPrizner: i just emailed you

steve: how u feeling?

TeenPrizner: controlled


that word, the one feeling word, tells me that i have done a lot for TeenPrizner. even if i never talk to her again, it helps to think that i have made a big difference in her life. i have helped raise her awareness. become a little closer to her own feelings. to help her question the status quo and abuses of power. i will miss TeenPrizner, so much that it brings a tear to my eye now. not that we were ever that close really, but i grew to trust her. she helped in so many ways, for so long. her diligence in typing in all the dtchat history for example. for her it wasnt a big deal but it was to me. her help in correcting the huge file that p gave me for my birthday - the wayne payne file.

5 years.

that is how long she will remain in teen prison.