Emotional Intelligence | Nigel Latta
Here are some my personal thoughts, in a journal type format. S. Hein
If Nigel were my own son, what would I do? - I might tell him I feel afraid (7/10) that he won't be taken as seriously as he would like to be if he keeps saying some of the things he does. I would tell him I am a little afraid, like 1 our of 10, that he will get sued by a parent whose teen commits suicide and blames him and his advice. I am afraid (6/10) he will spend a lot of time defending himself and the things he says. I am afraid people will accuse him of being judgmental. (On this one I feel sure they will, 10/10 but not very "afraid" that it will cause him a lot of pain. Instead my fear is more related to the fact that others, especially other professionals, won't take him as seriously. I will tell him that I am afraid (5/10) he will feel guilty and defensive if a parent who has been trying to follow his advice loses their son or daughter to suicide, and afraid he will feel defensive even if his methods don't work. I am afraid (9/10) he will spend more time defending himself than seeking the truth and being open to criticism. I am afraid (8/10) that one day he won't be as popular, that he will have serious problems in his marriage or other relationships and that his lack of empathy and his need to feel in control, and his frustration with trying to change people will cause him a lot of emotional pain. I would share with him my personal experiences of being divorced twice, suffering almost unbearable emotional pain. In fact, I would tell him that I feel afraid 8 that he will end up alone one day, as I found myself for so many years.
I don't feel very optimistic that I can "change" Nigel. But I assume that he is an intelligent person, both cognitively and emotionally. So I will use the same basic approach I advocate that parents use with children and teens, especially the more intelligent ones. Instead of threats and punishment or bribes and positive reinforcement, I suggest giving information. This information includes information in the way of emotional data, for example, how I feel about something, and feedback from others. So one thing I want to do on these pages about Nigel's work, is offer him feedback. I can't control how he responds to it. I can just offer it. I hope that in so doing, others also benefit from this information even if Nigel doesn't get much from it himself.
It hurts me to know how many parents are causing their children pain. Sometimes it hurts me so much to know what is going on that I can't write. I want to run away, as far as I can to get away from what I see happening all around the world. But now I am in New Zealand. I will leave soon. Then maybe the pain will be less intense. Often I wake up in the middle of the night and think of killing myself to stop the pain. It is too great to even write sometimes. It is debilitating, incapacitating. I just want it to stop.
I often think of the switch. The switch to turn off life, like a light switch. I would have turned it off by now if it had been there, next to me when I have laid in bed in pain.
I just the article about him defending locking children up. It hurts me to know that no one else is really, seriously challenging him. Where are the psychologists who are speaking for the children and teens?
Mar 22 7 pm
March 23 12:30 pm
Bad Parents or Bad Advice?
Bad Parents or Misinformed and Misguided?
I don't believe NZ parents are bad parents. I do believe they are being given bad advice.
I also believe they are being misinformed and misguided.
Does a baby love its parents when it is born? Does a baby respect its parents? Does a baby need its parents?
Confusion between love, need and respect.
Is parenting a right or a privilege in NZ? Can a child be taken from you legally in NZ?
My mission in NZ is to teach, prevent NZ from becoming liek the USA, save a life.
Teach about emotional abuse, teen suicide prevention, problems with punishement.
America has everything.. except mental health.
.No hugging in schools..
March 23 9 pm chatting with Tim. Tim is someone I respect a lot and he is very familiar with the idea on EQI.org. Tim watched the first episode of xxxxxxx and he said he didn't find anything to object to
March 24 - Changing behavior or building relationships? Apology/forgiveness. Positive discipline article - Long term goals - feelings predict behavior- don't get too attached to the outcome RE his battle with kids over cardboard box
Purpose of moving a pile of things from one place to another is subjugation, degradation. It is to show that there doesn't have to be a good reason for what you doing. You are taught not to question the reason for things. You are taught to feel powerless. You are taught not to try to use reason.
Facebook group Good Mothers Gone Bad..http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=279949638636&v=wall