Hein Painful Emotions Technique
The Hein Painful Emotions Technique (H-PET) is a three step process.
Most people talk about
"negative" emotions and "negative"
feelings, and suggest ways to stop them -- the quicker
the better. The problem with most of these methods is
that if you somehow manage to stop feeling your pain
without identifying and filling the unmet emotional need
which caused it, the need remains and eventually causes
problems later in your life. Some say it even comes back
With the H-PET, the goal is to actually fill the unmet need which is causing the painful feeling. By filling the unmet need you will increase your self-understanding and your empathy for others since you have now fully processed your feeling and can relate to others with similar feelings and unmet needs.
Society in general can be
improved this way when more of us identify the unmet
emotional needs which are the products of our modern,
materialistic society and busy, distracted,
Here is a long list of feeling words
Respect | Empathy
Other EQI.org Topics:
|Comments About the H-PET|
|I love the H-PET and I am looking at my life within the framework. Its so simple, easy and I can't forget this. I will use it again and again - I can promise that. Thanks for that. - Sola, post graduate student in computer science, Nigeria|
|It makes a lot a sense. If you were in physical pain the first thing you would do is finding out what is causing the pain, not go looking for a pain killer. But the common method of dealing with emotional pain is just to make it go away. I wonder why that approach is so common? - Morgan, teen in USA|
|It's a refreshing idea to have those emotions addressed in a more logical way.. probably would have saved me the trouble of having to figure it out on my own when I was younger. - Alexiss, 19, Medical Student, USA|
|Your HPET website is
helpful and interesting; it makes sense to me to not push
away allegedly negative feelings, and instead to
communicate with them, understand them with compassion,
and learn from them about our needs. But I wonder what
people can do if they get in touch with painful, angry,
aggressive or other overwhelming feelings stemming from
childhood trauma (and also later trauma) where the baby's
or child's needs, which were never fulfilled, come up.
This can be most challenging and difficult.
For me, working with a therapist made it
possible to witness, understand and comfort these
feelings. Yes, I know from experience that it is
productive and helpful to communicate with ALL our
feelings and ALL our beliefs, especially when we struggle
with them. We can learn from them all. In my therapeutic
work, I have found that after traumatic experiences,
there is the huge and completely unfulfilled need to
share the feelings and experiences caused by trauma and
become aware of, and be able to share, the truth of
traumatic experiences and how they affect us. After
trauma, there is also the vital, essential need to be
believed and to be emotionally supported in a
compassionate and sincere way, with an open heart, by
another human being.
Barbara Rogers, Therapist and former assistant to Alice Miller
Note from Steve - Please see my section on anger...
|I've been doing something similar for some time now. It really does work. More people should apply this... would solve a lot of sadness and frustration in the world. SoulRiser - Founder of School Survival|
|I love your technique. Simplified and really clear. -
Ted Hargrave - Founder of Marketing