Emotional Abuse, Neglect. When Parents Aren't There

- Neglect also includes denying, stopping contact with, and cutting off emotional support from friends, including on-line friends. (See related article about teens and the Internet)

- The article says, ".... an emotionally neglectful parent will not seek professional help for one's daughter even though he or she knows one's daughter has been starving herself, attempted suicide, or is depressed. " We agree, but we would add, cutting and other forms of self-harm to this list. Also, some parents actually intentionally stop their son or daughter from receiving professional or any other kind of help. They may say things like, "You don't have any real problems", "These things should be handled in the family, not by outsiders."

- The author also writes: "emotionally neglectful parents may allow or even encourage their children to use maladaptive coping skills or to engage in substance abuse." It will not help a child or teen to simply forbid the undesired behavior. Instead, the unmet needs of the child/teen must be addressed.

Please send us your thoughts on additional ways parents emotionally neglect children and teens.

When Parents Aren't There

by Sierra Koester

When people hear the word "neglect", they usually think of parents not providing their children with the food, clothes, or a safe environment to line in. However, there are other ways in which parents can neglect their children. Emotional neglect is as dangerous to a child's well-being as physical neglect is to a child's health and safety.

Parents can emotionally neglect their children in a number of ways. Inadequate attention to a child's emotional needs, need for affection, and lack of emotional support constitute emotional neglect. Refusing or delaying needed psychological treatment for a child's behavioral or emotional issue is another way parents emotionally neglect children. For instance, an emotionally neglectful parent will not seek professional help for one's daughter even though he or she knows one's daughter has been starving herself, attempted suicide, or is depressed.

Exposing a child to domestic violence of any kind is also considered to be emotionally neglectful. Finally, emotionally neglectful parents may allow or even encourage their children to use maladaptive coping skills or to engage in substance abuse.

There are several signs to watch for in someone you think might be suffering from emotional neglect. It is important to watch a parent's interaction with a child when making observations about the situation.

Parents who might be emotionally neglecting their child:

- May not spend much time with the child

- Do not offer a lot of affection through compliments, hugs, and kisses

- Constantly put down, criticizes, or berates the child

- And/or do not praise, respect, encourage, and support the child regularly

When a child does not feel loved he or she may develop low self-esteem, which may lead to future unhealthy coping mechanisms such as eating disorders, self-harm, substance abuse, or delinquency. Emotionally neglected children also tend to exhibit poor academic performance, difficulty interacting with peers, and displays anger through verbally or physically attacking other people.

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