April 18th, 2007

For Cara... this is really only for Cara...but if you want to read it, go for it, as Loo said to me once.

Two years since I first chatted with Laura.

I was just going to write her and ask her to please leave. Leave the prisons she has been in. Legally, she can now. But psychologically, emotionally she is still going to be imprisoned for a long time.

I was feeling so frustrated I was throwing things against the wall. I can't find someone to work for me. I used to try to get volunteers, now I am offering to pay people. But they all have other things more important to do. One person is going to work at McDonalds instead.

I'm not making that up. I don't make up shit just for the effect.

She is really going to work at McDonalds instead of helping me.

It is hard not to say "Oh, ok... serving rich people hamburgers is more important than saving a sensitive, intelligent teenager's life. No problem. I hope u like wearing the McDonalds uniform and smiling at all the falsely happy people who come in."

By the way, in case you were surprised when I said "rich" people, let me explain.

Here in South America, McDonalds is relatively expensive. It cost about three times as much to buy a hamburger or fries at McDonalds as it does in local place. Just so you know.

So I was throwing things against the wall out of my frustration. My energy that has no where to go. In the old days, if I had kids, I could scream at them to clean up their room, or get off their lazy asses or something. I could scream at them the way Loo's so called mother screams at her and the way the mother in the abusive mother video screams. Or I could beat the shit out of my kids. I could do that in the "old days" because the public opinion said that they were "my" kids, like people use to own slaves and they could beat them or even kill them with impunity. And I just watched a video about a teenage girl who was executed in Iran. That's a really cheery video if you want to see how some people think and act.

And as I told Laura, the Christians, or the people who call themselves that, aren't really that much different. They also believe in the use of fear, threats, punishment, public humiliation etc. to control others.

I am mostly writing this for Cara.

See, when I went to write Laura and beg her to leave, and to try to explain once again that all her life she has lived in fear of the people called her parents, who are not like other people we also call parents, and who don't deserve to be called the same thing that we call someone who doesn't abuse other people, and who don't leave them by the side of the road when the are young, or who don't cut their Internet off at a certain time, no matter what the person is doing on it, and who don't invade the privacy of someone else by taking their cell phone and reading their text messages, and who don't have any idea what is happening when they leave her alone and while they go off to have a good time in London..

So anyhow, as I was saying... I was just about to write Laura and tell her she doesn't need to be afraid of them anymore. And I was going to beg her to leave. To get out now that she has her legal freedom, but then I saw a message from Cara.

And, well, I will just say it made me cry.

So I wrote back to Cara and I just wrote

*tears

So now I am writing a little more for her.

And for anyone else who cares.

I have learned a few things recently. For example you can't pay someone to care.

I was thinking about something else I might as well write about.

I was thinking about parents who send people off to places called schools, thinking that in these places the other people, known as their children, will become prepared to be happy later in life. The equation goes like this.

good grades = get into a university = good job = happiness

But I was thinking about this question to ask a parent.

What if you adult "child¨ has a high paying job and yet they are going thru a divorce and their teenage kids are on drugs? Would they be happy?

Why do people keep thinking that if they send their kids off to schools and universities, they are going to be happy? Where is the evidence of that?

The USA has a lot of college graduates... and um, hmmm, let me think about that for a moment... didn´t a university student in the USA just kill a bunch of people?

So can we say he had received a "good" education up to that point in his life?

What is wrong with the picture of the USA? Why are so many people, supposedly educated people, killing other people? And why did so many supposedly educated people vote for the person who is the subject of the song by Pink called Mr. President? If somehow you missed that song, go to youtube and search for it. It's easy to find.

So.. now that I have "vented" a little... let me tell you what Cara thinks I should call my website. She thinks it isn't really about EI. She thinks it is about Steveism. lol.

Ok, fine Cara. For you, I will change the name of the site to Steveism for a few days. lol.

I thought you didn't care anymore Cara. Thanks for showing me that you still do.

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oh i want to say something about south americans. they love to send forwards and chain letters. it is really fucking annoying.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTv6ZDRyqe8