EQI.org Home | Depression

It's your choice

Today I read another article basically saying "it is your choice to be happy."

I left this comment.

This did not help me. I don't think it would help many of the depressed teenagers I have listened to. It seems to be blaming the victim. I tried to tell someone this same kind of thing once. A woman I was in a relationship with. It did not help her. She did not feel understood by me. She did not feel cared about by me. She did not feel empathy from me.

She had been abused in every possible way. I have also. Physically, sexually, emotionally.

I have learned the power of emotional support and the importance of it

It makes all the difference for me. Before I was really depressed and thought about suicide frequently, this kind of article might have inspired me. But now it doesn't and I see the danger in it.

I feel protective of anyone who is really depressed and reads this and then thinks there is something wrong with them because they don't have the energy to "pick themselves up". The words "it is your choice. You choose to lay there and do nothing" might echo in their heads, making them feel even worse about themselves.

It is easy to tell someone, "It is your choice". It takes much more caring to offer to listen to them. It takes more time. I am not impressed by what this university founder did. I feel skeptical of him.

I doubt he would have cried if the author of this article had killed himself.

I feel bad to say this but there are 1,000 articles like this on the internet and very few that offer another perspective similar to the one I am offering. So I feel a need or a duty or responsibility to warn people. Please don't say "It is your choice" to someone you love or care about who is very depressed. While it might help them, it might not. Listening to someone, though, really listening, has never led to someone killing themselves that I know of.

This was the article http://upliftconnect.com/moving-forward-after-rock-bottom/

S. Hein
Nov 30 2016


Core Components of EQI.org

Respect | Empathy
Caring | Listening

Other EQI.org Topics:

Emotional Literacy
Invalidation | Hugs
Emotional Abuse |
Feeling Words
Depression | Education
Emotional Intelligence
Parenting | Personal Growth

Search EQI.org | Support EQI.org

EQI.org Library and Bookstore