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Some of my emails to Daniel

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oct 15, 2013

hi d

thanks for reply. glad to know u arrived safely.

if u want tell me how its going there.

a question... how would u feel about me posting some updates about u and ur schedule in australia, for example how long u will be there, which cities u will be in etc.

i have been looking on ur site and on ur blog from ur site and i dont see anything that even says u are in oz.

i dont use facebook so i dont know if u have posted stuff there.

id like my page on u to be higher.. higher at least than cesar's. it hurts me to see his page in the top 5 or so for searches of ur name. i believe we can get my page on u up there higher.

but also i want to know myself how long u will be in oz, but i dont want to waste ur time asking u if u have already posted that somewhere.

so far tho i havent seen anything....not even a mention of ur screening in melbourne.

maybe ur just to busy with stuff. ur life sounds chaotic and hectic a bit. rushed.

so if i can help by posting stuff for u, im happy to. at least for now.

all the best- as some of my friends there say...


his reply..

hi steve
cool -- thanks. yeah, i don't promote my stuff too much --- though i should!!  sometimes people are mad at me that i don't even share that i'm in their area.  mostly it's because i get too busy and forget......erg.

well, i just had a screening in alice springs, and now i'm EXHAUSTED and off to bed.  tomorrow a seminar with folks who have been in the mental health system.  should be fun......i hope!!

all the best -- that is, back at you!

Note from SH - one reason I like dm, if i havent said it before is that he is doing a lot of the same things that i wanted to do myself when i was "younger" -- i see so much of myself in him or i feel so much loss from the fact i never did what i wanted to do - for example, make documentary movies.. as he has done - interview pple about the "mental health" system in various countires, enjoy life a bit, travel, make a difference in the world, say what i really think and feel.. etc... all of that just about makes me cry now... dm is a bit like an adopted "son" to me i guess. i dont have any kids. i keep "adopting" them and then losing them. i am afraid d and i will also part ways one day. i "hope" that doesnt happen. one of my personal goals is to try to keep this correspondence going. ie not lose him from my life - he is fairly important to me right now. i feel more alone than anyone really understands. not even my own partner fully understands. daniel is the closest thing i would call to a peer or colleauge. i am not sure he considers me as a peer or colleague. i dont really know how he feels about me but he has been replying to my mails and that helps me feel encouraged, hopeful, motivated and less depressed and suicidal. i see a LOT of potential in daniel. i want to keep supporting him. i fear the moments when we run into some big conflict. i am gonna try to avoid that. but it usually happens with everyone in my life and i feel a need to leave them or they feel a need to leave me, as david caruso did, for example. i still feel pain from the loss of david's friendship... anyhow, yeah, thats a bit more of how i feel and why etc. SH. Oct 16

oct 16

ok then not to nag but how long will u be in oz and whats ur schedule?? lol

roughly... if thats all u have - which i totally understand.

i would really like to put something on ur page about it asap cuz i too would feel bad if u were nearby someone and they missed u. as i would if u were in uruguay in the next town over and i didnt know!

yeah that would hurt - pain.... ouch.

and i think im gonna start posting more of our emails or some of them.. im gonna use my judgment but like i said i want my page on u to be higher and that should help. so if u ever see something u dont like, let me know plz.