Hillary Adams
Father: Judge William Adams
Texas, USA

Updates

Letter from Dave Halligan, Director ot Parenting for Men, New Zealand

Comments from Teens in our support group

Nov 30 Hillary's thank you video

Nov 28 Hillary's reaction to her father lying about her in court

I just learned about this. When she was 16, Hillary Adams hid a video recorder in her room. One day she taped her parents beating her with a belt. The video has now gone "viral." With several million views. I have made my own copy and will be commenting on it more probably. But now that you know about it, if you hadn't heard before, you can start to read up on it.

It says a lot about America and American values. Dysfunctional American values

As I wrote on the video description, it is not just the physical abuse. The things the parents say are typical of emotionally abusive parents.

For example,

- Telling her that she doesn't deserve to live with them.

- Telling her she "caused it." This is a clear role reversal. It is like saying the daughter is responsible for the parent's feelings and lack of self-control.

- Forcing her to answer questions. Notice how she says "yes, sir" and "no sir." There is little doubt that her parents don't understand the difference between respect, fear and obedience. They would probably say she was acting disrespectful, but they haven't in any way earned her respect

- Using sarcasm. Saying "Are you happy now?" "Is it fun to disobey your mom and dad?"

- Telling her she used to be a good girl and used to be obedient. This is a form of guilt-tripping, trying to make her feel guilty for not being obedient anymore.

- Even focusing so much on and making such a huge deal out of obedience is abusive in itself. Her parents don't deserve her obedience. They have emotional and psychological problems and they are passing them on to her.

I feel sorry for her and the thousands of physically and emotionally abused children and teenagers. Maybe as more videos and more documentation of this kind of abuse surfaces, more people will take action to change the laws.

Here is our book about emotionally abused teenagers: Letters from the Unloved

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Hillary is pretty pissed off at her father.. Today she called him a "psychpathic sack of filth" lol

It is encouraging to see her strong feelings

See note on our support group in side box -->

Lilypad: :( that's taking it too far

steve: what about u m___? how did u feel watching it?

steve: how else did u feel lydia.. about the video?
antiprincess4: thats terrible :(
M___: Oh, the flashbacks<3

antiprincess4: i cried i mean i wouldn't say my dad abuses me like that but
he definetey calls me names.its terrible the things parents will do to
their children

M___: I don't understand how someone could even feel that way towards
their own child

steve: yeah -- did ur parents hit u ever lydia... i guess urs did huh
m___

antiprincess4: no not physically
antiprincess4: i guess it depends on ur deffinition of abuse

M___: yeah, my mom has been sporadically
physically abusive. She's always emotionally abusive though.

steve: just so show u guys what the 24 year old told me....
steve: i asked if she had seen the videol...
steve: she said yeah it was very similar to stuff i'd get
steve: then said, i wrote to her to thank her
steve: i could see it wasn't her fault, and could infer what i went through
wasn't my fault either

steve: what do u guys think of what olivia the 24 year old said?

Lilypad: beating doesn't help anything

Madeline: I'm glad that it helped her see that it wasn't her fault.


M_____: At least /something/ good came from the situation
Lilypad: yeah

Letter from Dave Halligan, Director of Parenting for Men in New Zealand

Kia Ora Steve,

Well I had a look at that video and it is just naaaaaaasty.

That is criminal behaviour, it is a disgusting bullying intimidating cruel power driven imposing dominating sick display by a bigotted and very unwell person. These guys are as bad as someone who sexually violates their child, it's exactly the same. Its the same as people who are cruel to animals/pets.... same abuse....
It's like watching a stoneage documentary, unreal.

I recently attended a Mens retreat where 1 of the guys had been beaten like that by his mother when he was a small boy, AND he tried to protect and shield his siblings from the same fate. THAT'S what ate him up, having to watch his siblings endure that same nasty vindictive beating with a jug cord. The guy was in tears, almost catatonic at times......I saw real fear and hatred in his eyes, it was a big learning moment for me..... a 40 year old man..... big strong guy..... but his heart and his soul had been totally violated by his mother.... she really wanted to hurt them.... she was taking revenge for her unmet needs. She was naaaaaasty.

Imagine what that judges daughter is carrying inside her? Imagine the damage she may well pass on to HER children..... imagine how she will view all men?

I'm thankful for your emails, this video has been a really powerful learning experience for me.