http://eqi.org, http://stevehein.com

Cherie
Biological mother of
Sasha

 

Cherie is Sasha's mother from California. She believes in karma, astrology etc. She is the most negative person I know in Otavalo. She treats Sasha terribly and this is the reason Sasha cuts. If you ever see Sasha's arms, you will see the scars. If you don't know why teenagers cut themselves, read this page: http://eqi.org/cutting1.htm Sasha has been arrested once for having pot on her. According to Cherie herself, Sasha stole the pot from Cherie. This was one of the reasons Cherie was mad at Sasha. But Cherie says Sasha deserved to go to jail and it was "her karma." Sasha tells me that Cherie smokes pot everyday and is an alcoholic. But she says her mother denies she is an alcoholic or has a drinking problem. She says her mother will invite her to get drunk with her.

Here are some journal notes

July 18 - Cherie is mad at me now for some unknown reasons. She resents helping me get my apartment. She has been very negative, judgmental, critical etc. so I can understand more why Sasha cuts and has tried to kill herself. The last time I talked to Cherie I felt judged, attacked, untrusted, resented, misunderstood and lectured to. But I realize that people who don't love children will never understand me and the things I do. I realize I am not a typical person, but the children and teenagers here like me and most of the local people here have been great, so her negativity has not discouraged me as much as it would have otherwise. But it still bothered me a lot the last time I saw her. I am hoping, though, that we can talk and reach some kind of understanding. I am trying to label my own feelings and that has helped me not feel resentful towards her. I realize she is a product of her environment, the USA, which has been a toxic place for so many people.

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Friday August 26

Sasha told her she found out that her mother was using cocaine. She told me she also tried some and it was really strong. She asked her mother what it was and her mother tried to avoid answering. Then finally she admitted it was cocaine, then but said "It was only a little." Then she walked away.

August 28, 2004

One day Sasha told me that her mother had said, "I wish you had never been born." Sasha was really hurt to the point of being angry. She said she had never said this before to her. She had often thought her mother felt that way, but she had never heard her actually say it.

Then the other day when Cherie was drunk she said, "How old are you?" Sasha said 15. Cherie said, "And your not dead yet?"

And then this week her mother also told her that she had had an abortion once. Sasha says she wished she would have told her that sooner.

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Cherie

When we went to look at the house she tore down the sign which said room for rent and she through it inside an estera that was standing in the corner of the Sarita shop. She said "This way no one else will see that it is for rent." I told her I didn't feel good about her doing that and I reached down and got the sign and stuck it back on the wall. Trying to make me feel guilty for what I did, she said, "So you don't want the room then?" Then she walked away.