Two convos about freedom etc

Two convos with teens about freedom, privacy etc.

Convo with a teen in the USA - April 5, 2007

usateen: i've been stuck in the house for the past eight days because of spring break
me: i dont get that about being stuck in the house. how come u cant go out??
usateen: well...
i don't have a car
underage for a job
well, no i'm not
but my parents won't let me
most of my friends are out on vacation
and the ones who aren't
are a little superficial for me to deal with right now
and if i wanna go out, it means i have to go out with my parents
so quite frankly
i'd rather be eaten alive
me: yeah
do u live to far to walk anywhere or what?

usateen: well, i could walk
but my mom likes calling home a lot
and our house phones only have like, a half mile radius thing
i've checked

so...not really, no
me: u mean she will get mad if u dont answer the house phone??
usateen: yeah
she likes "checking up" on me
a LOT
me: what if u dont answer, what does she do?
usateen: she'll just keep calling
and probably eventually come home
actually, nah
she'd be too lazy for that
call like, the poilce or something
and apparently
i can't lock my doors anymore
i still do
but theoretically
me: what do u mean u cant lock ur doors?
what kind of a prison is it if u cant lock ur doors!
usateen: my dad gets all pissed off
and starts hammering on the door
exactly
me: u mean to ur room?
usateen: yeah
or whatever room i happen to be sleeping in
me: where else do u sleep??
usateen: sometimes i sleep in the basement
cuz that's where the computer is
and i'll be on aim
and go take a nap
and come back later
me: ah
im sorry u have to live like that
i really am
do ur friends have more freedom than u?
usateen: oh yeah
definitely
me: n parents that arent as scary
usateen: nah
all my friends are terrified of my parents
me: no i mean do they have parents that they arent afraid of
usateen: oh
yeah
my one friend once asked me to come to her swim meet
cuz i used to swim with her, but quit this year
and i said i couldn't go cuz my parents didn't want me to
and she's like, are you scared of your parents?
kinda like...disbelieving sorta tone
me: yeah
im really sorry, truly.
usateen: eh...you live with it, i guess
three years and i'm outta here
me: i wish teens didnt have to live with it. they only do because of the crap laws
usateen: although technically...i suppose it could be two
me: how so?
usateen: well, i thought you could leave at 16
so that'd be two years
but if i wanna finish high school
it'd be three
and my high school's like, in the top 100 public schools in the us
so...good stuff
my old teacher used to joke that our C students would be getting Bs at xxx
(which is a high school that's pretty close to us, but kinda...not so smart)

but they make fun of us too
me: how would u define a good highschool?
usateen: well, i meant good academically
but to me
a good high school's gotta have good people
me: how would u define good people?
usateen: like
interesting
doesn't mean that they are perfect
but friendly
nice
learn a bit from everyone
actually
i've got this one friend
who had to do this education project
and i read it
it's about this school in massachusetts somewhere
where there's no formal education at all
the kids decide their own curriculum for all 12 grades
so quite technically, if they don't want to learn to read
they don't have to
they just go and play all day
and they get accepted into some of the most prestigious colleges in the nation
so....i thought that was a really cool idea
me: yeah i heard about that
i used to know the name of those kinds of schools
what do u think the point of school should be?
usateen: hmm
school should be a place where kids can just interact with other kids
and learn about...well, anything they really want to learn about
although i suppose you don't really need school to learn
school...should be a place where kids aren't afraid to express themselves
me: hey do u have ur own bank account?
usateen: yup
me: is ur parents name on it? in argentina a "minor" cant open an account alone
usateen: umm..i think my mom's like, my "guardian" or w/e
dunno what that means
but i'm pretty sure she's linked in some way

later...

me: have a look at this.. to test ur spanish ha ha
http://jovenes.eqi.org/april4.htm
usateen: oh godhaha
usateen: lemme check for english first
me: check for english¿¿ what do u mean?
usateen: last time you gave me a page, it had english translations at the bottom
but i didn't realize it until i finished the first part of spanish
so, 3/4/07
looking for a place to work, we see tables in Saint Martin park
in the same place, we meet three friends that come here to practice tai-chi-chuang
w/e that is...
we sit down to practice english adn talk about our projects and ideas
what a pretty picture
we...are at the bus terminal, calling the...bus people?
something like that
me: lol
pretty good!
usateen: el quebrandeno bus goes from san antonio to the cobres
san antonio, texas?
me: ha ha
usateen: i thought you were in argentina
me: no!
usateen: oh
hahaha
me: im talking to xxx too
i just showed her the pics and wrote this
these are the teens that are working for me. they have been really good
the boy doesnt go to school. he got kicked out basically i guess but he learns the pc fast and is really a nice person. very quiet
and the girls parents hit her
well the boys too
i feel good that imhelping them
this is actually a part of my dream, its the first time ive done something like this
they have worked three or four days now
im teaching them how to make web pages
me: k
do u know how to make web pages?
usateen: more or less
like, i used to make homepages when i was little
and i'm assuming i'd be able to figure it out
but i haven't taken any classes or anything
i was going to next year, actually
but i decided not to
me: k would u like to help me make pages for my site?
usateen: sure
me: ok can u see if u can find a copy of front page express to download?
usateen: i got frontpage
express but ill have to do it later cuz ive got to go practice
me: ok
usateen: ok cya
me: bye

later she came back on and we talked awhile more. then we had this convo..

i'm sorry steve, i gtg for real this time
haha
3:52 PM mommie dearest is pissed off
me: how come?
usateen: well, she walked in here and accused me of having "too good a life
"
and told me to either go study or play piano
me: lol
yeah right
wow
what a bitch
usateen: ugh
me: do u ever say go **** ********?
usateen: i need some serious happy pills
3:53 PM to my parents?
me: lol
usateen: i can't
that's the thing
like...
i dunno
they treat me like shit
and i know that's not right
but for some stupid reason
i can't stop trying to make them proudo
or happy
about anything i do
and besides...my mom's got serious health issues
3:54 PM and i can't bring myself to add to that
it's weird
and hopeless
like i'm on a hamster wheel
me: k
yeah..
they have u conditioned pretty well to behave as they want for the most part.
usateen: haha
wow...that makes me feel like a lab rat
3:55 PM me:
yep
thats the idea
usateen: lovely
me: behavioral conditioning
yep
u dont have much choice really
not with the laws the way they are
usateen: yeah
me: ur life unforunately depends on them so they have enormous power.
3:56 PM power they dont deserve but they have it legally
thats why i want to change the laws
usateen: yet another reason why america's fucked up
me: or die trying
usateen: from argentina?
me: id like to help take this to the UN
usateen: ah
me: or inspire someone else to do it
the laws are just wrong
usateen: yeah
3:57 PM but the courts are way to crowded to ever handle something like this
too*
me: there is no good reason to keep a teen living under the parents rules and control
well im gonna do what i can
the law needs to change to save lives
usateen: :-)
me: not to mention make pple happier
usateen: you're a really good person
just in case you haven't heard that enough
me: its totally unfair to teens like u
thanks
usateen: im sorry but i really gotta go i hear her coming
:-(
me: k bye bye

Later I remembered the name of the schools we were talking about

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudbury_school

Convo 2

me: im talking with a teen in the usa. she cant lock the door to her room or her parents get angry but yet she also cant leave the house or they get angry
uk teen: but she has a lock on her door?
me: yeah i guess so. dont u?
uk teen: no
lol no way
me: so they can walk in whenever they want?
uk teen: yep
isnt it pointless that she has a lock but not allowed to use it?
that's just... confusing
me: do ur parents knock and wait for u to answer before they walk in?
uk teen: sometimes...not always
me: i suppose when they are angry they dont
or if they want u to do something for them
uk teen: yeh and othr times wen they cant be arsed
me: how do u feel when they just walk in?
n do u usually keep ur door closed?
uk teen: yeah i do and i feel like someone has just violated my privacy
me: n do u usually keep ur door closed?
uk teen: i do
but they open it
they dont like it shut
when they walk out they leave it open
i hafta ask specifically if they wouldn't mind shutting the door
depends on their mood
me: yeah
hug
im sorry u have to live with them
me: hug
uk teen: its okay..
u kinda get used to it